Finding your Passion

The last week saw the result declaration of Grades 10 and 12 of almost all education Boards across the country. 

While many celebrated the top rankers, two news items that did the rounds were about a boy who refused to write entrance exams and found a better way of life and a mother who praised the efforts of her son who scored 60 %. What is surprising that today as a society we have reached a situation where we feel that these two are heroes and are doing something that makes them stand apart. 

In fact they have followed their heart, and lived their life as per their choice. What is it that makes them heroes? The rest of us who have made the system so rigid that we accept only the highest marks as best. We, the parents, the teachers and the education system at large doesn’t see the potential of the so called mediocre students. Marks are hugely inflated to crazy levels and this is more demoralizing than motivating. 

Over the last few days discussions in many whatsapp groups may have been about marks and admissions. The moment the result is announced, the question is what next? A very valid question indeed! Have we ever thought that we are expecting a 15 year old to make choices that would probably last a life time based on the performance of a single exam that lasted over a period of may be a month? And all those who tell me that there are marks of internal examinations added to it, please remind yourself that I work within the school system and all schools know how this works! 

Do we consider the passion of the child while making choices on career options? Or as a parent recently commented to me, “Let him become independent, and then follow whatever passion he wants!” One parent told me, ‘My child is used to a luxurious life. Only if he gets a job that will pay well, he will be able to continue that lifestyle. So he has to work hard.” 

Is passion something that one can compartmentalize? Children are often told, finish your education, then do what you want! Young adults are told to get married and then do what they want. 

 Why does following the passion mean having to fulfill such conditions? How can we separate our education and our passion? Shouldn’t we feed our passion with our education? 

In the race to have an affordable lifestyle, we push our children to do things we think are right for them. Remember we are preparing them for a time we know nothing about! 80% of the jobs that exist today weren’t around when we were growing up. 

Parents and teachers need to believe their children. They need to trust the child with their passion and realize that their passion will lead them to the goal they are looking at, which may not necessarily match yours. 

The next question will be how do we know if what my child is doing is his/her passion? Well, first question yourself. Do you know what your passion is? I know of people who believed that their work is their passion and are now in their late fifties or early sixties discovering their passion for the first time! 

How will our children know what their passion is, unless we give them the freedom to explore and experiment with their choices? It’s ironical that while we say these children have more optionas htat we ever did, we limit their choices by our knowledge! We want them to trod the safe path because we fear that they may not get a stable job, they may not earn enough money, they may not settle down in life and a hundred other they may nots! 

For all those who say the education system in India doesn’t give opportunities , I disagree. The opportunities are there .Are we willing to look? A friend of mine recently called me up and told me, “My vacation dates are clashing with my daughter’s exams. I am not sure what to do. She can give four out of her eight papers.” My advice was to give four papers and go for the holiday. The holiday will remain in her heart and mind till she dies. These papers won’t. She can always appear for the other four in the month of October. ‘Won’t those be counted as compartmental examinations?”, she asked. How will that impact her life? While looking for a job, she will not be asked the details of her exams. My friend agreed and added, “I am a head hunter myself and yes, I know the industry looks for talent and not marks!” “Bingo!” I said, “Go pack your bags.” And let me tell you this is exactly what my daughter is also doing. She is writing four exams this season (as they call it) and four in October as the trek to the mountains with her group of friends is something that she and I would want her to cherish for a lifetime. 

The children who clear their board exams are in the second decade of their life. Do not expect them to make choices that will impact the next six to seven decades. Give them the choice to experiment, to create, to refuse, to change paths, to think for themselves and to live and learn for themselves. Do not worry about what the neighbours will say, what the needling uncles and aunties galore will opine. These are not the deciding factors. The choice make has to be the child. Be their strength, not their fear or weakness!