Finding Your Own Path: Lessons on Authenticity, Opportunity, and Relationships

If I could go back and talk to my younger self—the one fresh out of college, unsure about my career path, worried about grades, and anxious about what the future held—I would tell her: “Don’t worry. It will all work out.”

But, of course, I did worry. And I know so many others do, too! We’re human!

When I graduated from Kansas State University College of Business (Go Cats!) with a degree in accounting, I didn’t want to be an accountant. And, I actually started at K-State with intention of majoring in electrical engineering, but discovered I didn’t want to be an engineer either. What I did know was that I needed to graduate, get a job, and go back home. Beyond that? I had no idea where life would take me.

That uncertainty—and the self-doubt that came with it—followed me throughout my career. I had this voice in my head, a little critic I call “Gazoo” (yes, the green Martian from The Flintstones), constantly whispering that I wasn’t good enough. But over the years, I’ve learned a few things that have helped me turn down Gazoo’s volume and step fully into who I am.

Rule #1: Be Authentic

Early in my career, I was told I’d never make it to management because I smiled too much, laughed too much, and was too friendly. That’s not what leaders were supposed to look like, I was told. But I knew I wasn’t going to change who I was to fit into someone else’s mold.

Reflecting on my career, I’ve realized that authenticity is my greatest strength. Success isn’t about imitating someone else’s career path or mirroring their leadership style—it’s about carving out a path that works for you. It’s about being confident in yourself, showing up as you, and trusting that the right people will recognize and value what you bring to the table.

Let’s be honest—no one can “fake it until you make it” forever. You can try to be someone you’re not for 30 or 60 days, but eventually, your true self will shine through. So why not embrace it from the start?

Rule #2: Don’t Opt Out

One of the biggest career mistakes people make is opting out before they even give themselves a chance to succeed. I once mentored a young woman who was offered a big promotion—an incredible opportunity. But she was thinking of turning it down. Why? “Because one day, I want to have a family,” she said.

Not today. Not next year. One day.

This crushed me. How many talented people are holding themselves back—not because they aren’t capable, but because they think they’ll need to make a trade-off at some undefined point in the future? Life will throw plenty of obstacles your way—don’t create more by taking yourself out of the game before it’s even started.

Rule #3: Celebrate Relationships

Leadership isn’t about titles or authority—it’s about relationships. You can have the best vision and strategy in the world, but if you don’t build strong relationships, you won’t get very far.

One of my favorite stories from early in my career happened in Wichita. Every morning, I’d pass an executive in the building on my way to get a soda, and every morning, I’d say hello. And every morning, he’d respond with… a grunt.

Day after day, this continued. “Hi!” Grunt. “Hi!” Grunt.

Then, one day, I didn’t say hi. Later that afternoon, I got called into his office. He looked at me and said, “Are you okay? You didn’t say hi this morning.”

That moment stuck with me. He did notice. He did care. He just didn’t know how to show it. A simple “hello” can open the door to stronger connections and better collaboration. Leadership isn’t just about what you accomplish—it’s about how you make people feel along the way.

Final Thoughts

If I could leave you with one challenge, it would be this: Be yourself. Support each other. And never opt out of opportunities before you’ve given yourself a real shot.

None of us achieve success alone. The more we uplift, mentor, and champion one another, the stronger we all become. And that’s what leadership is really about.