Finding Your Four Keys to Excellence

Cover feature of HR.com's Personal Excellence Magazine - April 2019

Have you ever had a colleague who inexplicably knocked you off your game? Have you ever faced a work situation that felt as though the rug had been pulled out from under you?

Even HR professionals who know their stuff inside and out have moments where it feels as if they lose their voice. 

While attending a Leadership Forum I met with an early-career woman, Hope. After completing an exercise, Hope mentioned that the director in her office had told her to work on her executive presence. As she told me this, her posture deflated and her voice grew weak. He did not give her any specifics and she did not know where to start. 

This feedback wasn’t a surprise to her, she explained. She loved her job, prided herself on knowing the ins and outs. However, a particular senior manager seemed to have it out for Hope and was excessively critical of everything she did. She reached a point where the mere suggestion that she might run into this person put her on edge. She had also been asked to make an important presentation to the senior team in a few weeks. Understandably, she was concerned. This was a make-or-break career moment for her. 

Hope’s situation isn’t unique – even the most confident professionals occasionally run into someone that somehow throws them off (on purpose or unconsciously). This confounds many professionals: “Hey, I’ve done my homework, I’ve put in the time – how can one person or situation make me feel as though I’ve lost my footing?”

Regardless of the situation, the bottom line is that it can negatively impact your job performance. If you’re feeling on the defensive, nervous, or rattled, you’re more likely to make mistakes and errors in judgment. In other words, you’re not operating in Your Best Self. 

How can you find your way back when someone unmoors you? I asked Hope to tell me about a time in her life when she felt her best, most alive, and confident. After considering for a moment, a gentle smile spread across her face. She’d played flute in an award-winning high school marching band—a band so good that it consistently won at the Columbus Day Parade in New York City! I asked Hope to show me what she looked like when she got ready to play.

Before my eyes Hope’s posture and presence transformed, shifting from slouched shoulders to sitting tall and confident. As she lifted her arms into her playing position, she exuded joy.

Hope wasn’t just a talented contributor to the band either. She led the whole flute section successfully through incredibly difficult competitions. As Hope spoke, I noticed that she no longer seemed overwhelmed and depressed. Rather, she was energized, hopeful, and confident. Her Best Self.

Now, how could she take this confident version of herself to her upcoming and critical presentation in front of the entire senior team?

Until our conversation, Hope’s upcoming presentation was causing her intense anxiety. Recalling a time when she felt at her best unplugged her from that anxiety and reconnected her with a genuine, positive self-image. So, how could she put this sense of memory to work for her?

1. Finding Her Signature Stance. The tall yet relaxed posture Hope had assumed time and time again as a flute player was second nature. This particular stance was also where she learned how to bring out her best performance. It was impossible for Hope to assume this stance – even years later – without feeling her pride and confidence return. This sense of memory sent a clear and positive message to herself and conveyed a natural, confident, and powerful presence to others.

2. Playing to Be Heard. Under scrutiny at work, Hope’s voice weakened as an extension of her low confidence. However, as a flute player, she knew how to play to be heard. The power of her sense memory bolstered her presence. Hope needed to access this while speaking in front of others: to speak to be heard!

3. Adopting a Mindset of Excellence. The third key for Hope was recalling her role as a leader in the band. She held a strong vision of excellence for herself and her fellow flute players. We discussed how she could hold this strong vision of musical and performance excellence and lead herself.

4. Finding Her Groove. Hope’s fourth key appeared when she started humming her favorite song that the band played. The rhythm, the tempo, the timing – it was a positive feeling that contributed to her confident air.

All told, these elements became her four triggers with which she could recreate a state of positivity, focus, and confidence in the face of the most intimidating of situations. In other words, these were her keys to being extraordinary.

Finding these keys was a breakthrough for Hope, and she didn’t keep this information to herself. She sought out several senior leaders (folks who had supported her in the past) and shared her four elements. When she practiced her presentation in front of them, they were able to use these four keys as a common language when delivering feedback.

How did the fateful presentation go? Amazing, Hope reported. She said that she felt calm and confident. She took control of the moment, stood tall, and spoke in a strong and confident voice. She experienced a deep sense of satisfaction from the experience. In fact, the senior director who’d been tough on her approached her following the presentation and congratulated her on a job well done.

If you’re not a flute player, don’t stress. You, too, can uncover your own unique keys to being extraordinary and staying in your Best Self no matter what comes.

Not sure where to start? Get a notepad or tablet and consider the following: Think of two or three moments or experiences in your life when you’ve felt in your Best Self. These will be times when you felt most alive, confident, energized, and effective, and when you felt a sense of feeling and purpose.

Describe your physicality in those moments. If necessary, get up and move around until your body finds the same position. This is your signature stance.

● How did you feel in those moments? (Brave? Large? Mischievous?)

● How would you describe your energy? (Calm? Elated?)

● Try to describe your mindset. For instance, were you in a flexible state of mind? Adaptable? Generous?

Identifying moments where you lived in your Best Self and finding your four keys might come easily to you, or they might take longer to unearth. But with effort, it can be done. Reclaiming personal power is never easy, but the work is well worth it.

Download a PDF of the April edition of HR.com.