Finding Your Feet: Rebuilding Confidence After Life’s Setbacks

So, you’ve just been through a big life change.

Maybe it’s redundancy, retirement, a divorce or you’re a new mum getting ready to head back to work. Whatever it is, it’s left you feeling a bit wobbly, right? Confidence? What confidence?

I get it. When life takes an unexpected turn, it can feel like someone’s pulled the rug from under your feet. You’re suddenly at a crossroads, questioning everything. Your abilities, your worth and your next steps. It’s like starting a new chapter, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to turn the page.

And here’s the thing, your confidence isn’t gone forever. It’s still there, just a bit buried. With a little help, you can absolutely get it back.

Confidence: What Does it Really Look Like?

We all have an image of what a confident person looks like, don’t we? You might think of someone who walks into a room full of strangers like they own the place or someone who speaks up without hesitation. Maybe it’s the person who seems to have it all figured out while you’re feeling like you’ve lost your footing.

The truth is confidence doesn’t always look the way we expect. You might see someone who seems to have it together. However, on the inside, they could be just as unsure as you feel right now. They might even be using their bravado as a way to mask their own insecurities.

And just because someone’s quieter doesn’t mean they’re lacking confidence either. Real confidence comes from within. It’s about being comfortable with who you are, even when life throws you a curveball.??

The Inner Game of Confidence

It’s easy to feel like your confidence has been knocked when you’ve been through a major life event. Redundancy can make you question your value. Divorce can leave you wondering what went wrong. Returning to work after having a baby? That can make you feel like a completely different person, like you’ve lost touch with who you used to be.?

Confidence doesn’t come from what you’ve been through, it comes from how you respond to it. It’s about finding that inner strength, that belief that you are still worthy, still capable, still you, even when things feel shaky on the outside.?

So, how do you reconnect with that part of yourself? Here are 5 practical ways to rebuild your confidence and get you back on your feet.??

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Right now, you might not feel particularly confident, and that’s okay. Sometimes, acting like you’ve got it together can help remind you of the strength that’s still inside you. Stand tall, take a deep breath and embody the person you want to be. Over time, you’ll start to believe in your own power again.

Reframe the Narrative

If you’re telling yourself that you’ve lost your confidence or that you’re not good enough, that story will keep playing on repeat. It’s time to change the script. Instead of focusing on what’s gone wrong, focus on what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown. Tell yourself you can do this, because you can.

Quiet the Inner Critic

We all have that voice in our head, don’t we? The one that says, “You’re not ready,” or “You’re not good enough.” You know mine’s called Vera and when I let her she tells me many untruths. However, I know that that voice is there to keep me safe and comfortable. If you want to rebuild your confidence, you’ve got to step out of that comfort zone. It’s scary, and every time you push yourself a little further, that inner critic gets quieter and your confidence gets stronger.

Focus on What’s Going Right

When life feels hard, it’s easy to focus on everything that’s gone wrong. What about what’s going right? Even small victories matter. Maybe you managed to get through the day without doubting yourself. Maybe you tackled a difficult conversation or took a step towards something new. Celebrate those wins and you’ll start to see just how capable you really are.

Reconnect with Who You Are

This is a big one. Life changes have a way of making you feel like you’ve lost touch with yourself. Here’s the good news, you haven’t. You’re still you, with all the strengths, quirks, and talents you had before. Take some time to reconnect with what makes you you. Whether it’s journaling, talking to a coach or simply spending time doing something you love, remind yourself of all the amazing things you bring to the table.

Confidence is a Muscle, Keep Exercising It

The truth is, confidence is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, it weakens. And when you’ve been through a big life change, it’s natural for that muscle to feel a bit underworked. Just like getting back into a fitness routine, you can strengthen it again. It takes time, patience and a bit of courage and you can rebuild.?

If you’re at a crossroads and not sure how to move forward, that’s where coaching comes in. Sometimes, you just need a bit of guidance to help you reconnect with your inner strength and move into this new chapter with more certainty and self-esteem.

So, ask yourself, how confident are you feeling right now? If the answer isn’t what you’d like, know that it’s not a permanent state. With a little work, that confidence can come back, stronger than ever.

How confident are you feeling right now?

You might also like to read, Why are you doubting yourself?

Download?your FREE Personal Life Assessment. It’s time to take stock of where you are and where you want to go. In less than 10 minutes, you’ll know why life feels unfulfilled, the reason for it and the action you need to take to turn things around.