Finding Your Executive Coach

When I was in high school, I was not the best example of someone other people liked to coach.??I was the last of five children.??My brother was the star of the varsity basketball team, the speech team (Forensics), Homecoming King, football quarterback, and class President.??My three sisters were all accomplished as well.??I had good genes. I love my siblings and I could hold my own, but I was endlessly the younger brother trying to find his own identity.??To say it simply, I was a little rebellious.??

But this didn’t stop teachers and coaches alike to try to ‘bend’ me ‘like Beckham’ so that I would rise to the top of the cream and ‘stay out of trouble.’??The problem was I was a bit unconventional, and I learned differently.??It was difficult for me to see the point of ‘getting in line’ when it came to almost anything.??

I remember the year after my brother graduated, I couldn’t wait for track season.??I loved the short and long runs (we called them running circuits), but I hated the requirements of how many we needed to run of a certain length and in a certain amount of time.??My coach called it ‘discipline.’??It was rigid and the only goal was winning.??As the old adage says, winning was everything. Coaches at our high school didn’t care that some students just loved running for the adrenalin, the beating heart, the crisp air on your lungs… we loved running for the sake of running.??You see, I was a legacy.??It was my responsibility to run, excel at basketball, place first at speech tournaments, run for student council and be… well, whatever came before me.??

That year, I decided to do all the track workouts with one caveat… I decided not to compete.??Coming off a strong showing at the previous year’s District Tournament, I told my Coach about my decision, and he looked at me just shaking his head.??‘Why would you put in all the work and not compete?’??I told him, ‘Because that’s not the point of running for me.’??I decided instead (on meet days) to assist the girl’s track team, guiding, coaching, and motivating.??Helping others was more rewarding to me than proving myself to others.

This lesson has carried on well after high school as I became a teacher, a Chief Learning & Leadership Officer, a performance enablement consultant, a Human Resource Executive, a CEO, and an experienced Executive Coach.???

What are we looking for when we look for a good executive coach???

1.?????Coaches are versatile.??In fact, good executive coaches get to know the person they coach so that ‘what’ they coach/teach and ‘how’ they coach/teach is customized to the person, their needs, ambitions, and their goals.?

2.?????Coaches build awareness without directing.??Being direct is not the same as ‘directing’.??Good coaches never mince words, but they also don’t tell people what to do.??They show people they coach how building awareness of their behaviors have an impact on performance and the relationships they build. They provide a window into choices.

3.?????Coaches teach people to fish.??A sign of a good executive coach is not to create a co-dependent relationship where your success depends upon your coach’s guidance, but in fact one of the main goals of coaching is to create autonomy, confidence, and independence.??These coaches have business experience and have walked in your shoes.??

4.?????Coaches are not therapists.??But coaches do explore how the past and the present predict the future.??That might mean exploring the models of behavior you received as a child, how you parent, or identifying the underlying patterns of behavior you engage in and their derivation.??

5.?????Coaches are advocates of the individual, not the company.??Many coaches are hired to be ‘fixers’ not to help individuals reach an understanding of their potential with honesty and respect.??Our conversations are deep explorations of that individual’s performance and leadership capability given surrounding circumstances.??

Our job is to help each person be successful at what is expected of them and/or help them discover what is the highest and best use of their skills and capabilities.??Pick an executive coach that is interested in you as a person, as an individual, and who has the business experience to help you see your own decisions and choices while anticipating the results.

Joe Tria, CEO & Founder IndelibleTalent www.indelibletalent.com www.resumereview.me