Finding Work-Life Balance

Does this sound like you? “You work 60+ hour on your job every week. The weekend comes around and you sleep for hours on end, run a few errands, and then wake up Monday morning to do it all over again.” If you said “yes,” allow me to officially inform you that you have NOT mastered work-life balance! Today, we are going to put emphasis on the word “LIFE” because while catching up on sleep and running errands are important, those basic activities are not going to help you feel fulfilled when you look back 10 or 20 years from now. I want you to reflect on your life and not only be able to say that you were successful in your career; I want you to say that you enjoyed a fabulous life while you did it. However, this is easier said than done, so let’s focus on the doing!!

What ideas come to mind when you think of having a fulfilled life? For some of you, this may include spending time with friends, raising a family, traveling, and more. Each of these examples are excellent choices, but how do you transition these from thoughts to actions? Well, just like you are intentional in going to work and executing your tasks, I am challenging you to make the time to plan out your personal life with just as much attention to detail. Sometimes the hardest step is to begin. If you’re already a part of a family unit, this may not be that difficult because as a mother or a father, I’m sure a lot of your time is spent thinking about your children and addressing their needs. If you are part of a couple, then you have a built-in partner to join you in these activities. However, if you’re single, your challenge may be getting over the idea of doing things alone. It’s not always easy to find the friend who wants to join you on the trip out of town. Although a lot of the suggestions I will list can be done in groups, I am specifically going to address them from the perspective of someone who is single because there’s a lot of great moments to experience as a whole individual first.

Take a Day Trip

Since I’ve moved to Jackson, Mississippi, I’ve been dreaming of driving down to the city of Laurel, which is two hours away. It’s the filming location of the HGTV show, Home Town, and I have a bucket list goal to have one of the HGTV designers renovate my house or make me a piece of furniture. On this particular show, Erin and Ben Napier are giving the homes in Laurel a facelift, one rundown house at a time. In one episode, they helped a client renovate a house into a restaurant called Bird Dog Café. I’ll admit, I secretly hoped I would be able to convince someone to take this drive with me, possibly spend the night and come back the next day. However, after months of procrastination and thanks to the coincidence of having a rental car while my vehicle is in the shop, I decided to bite the bullet and take the drive. And, boy, am I glad I did! When I arrived at the restaurant, I happened to be seated next to a very chatty family from southern Mississippi who’d driven an hour up to have brunch as well. Sitting next to them was like uniting with old friends as we chatted about my career in PR and the son’s career in law. Mama Jennifer was a retired schoolteacher and I told her about my retired educator parents in Florida. After dining we all ended up seeing each other again at Erin and Ben’s downtown store, the Laurel Mercantile Company, which happened to be right next door to the city’s annual Crawfish Festival. Music and the smell of well-seasoned seafood filled the air as people stood in line at food trucks and frozen lemonade stands.

Next, I stumbled upon the Lauren Rogers Art Museum where I stopped in to view some incredible works of art, including a bronze bust by Elizabeth Catlett and some gorgeous Georgian silver tea sets. My favorite pieces were by several Black artists living in Atlanta that I’d never heard of before. If I hadn’t taken the plunge to go on this day trip, I probably would’ve spent the weekend bingeing on some random reality television show. Instead, I got to live in my reality and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Take Up A Hobby

It’s too early to tell if this will become a hobby of mine, but I’ve been forced into gardening thanks to the overly spacious front and back yards on my new home (not sure what I was thinking when I made this purchase). I’m determined to NOT hire a yardman or buy a gas-guzzling lawnmower, so I’ve taken to using a push mower to cut the grass which gives me the added benefit of a workout! Of course, this was a much better idea before I realized how quickly weeds can take over a yard! Before I knew it, Wild Kingdom had sprouted in my back yard and could no longer be ignored. This weekend I got to work. Two hours of sunrise weeding later, my yard is respectable again. The bright side is that I purchased and planted some flowering shrubs that will hopefully blossom beautifully over the summer if I can keep them alive. I also discovered an existing rose bush in the back corner of my yard that looks serene and smells lovely now that I’ve cut back the tree limbs that previously obscured it from view. ?

Exercise and Self Care

The pandemic has taken a toll on all of us, and many people are still trying to pull themselves out of the state of sequestering and isolation that we forced ourselves into for self-preservation. Before the pandemic, I was in the gym for one, maybe two, exercise classes every weekend. Today, I no longer have a gym membership and I have no idea when I will return to a fitness club. This has resulted in a softer, curvier version of Alonda that I’m not sure I want to keep. However, I have decided to give myself the grace to appreciate that I may have a mental block when it comes to working out in group settings. I have begun to explore other options, including walking, Youtube workouts and online exercise programs. Additionally, I take the time to get a massage or a facial periodically which are other enjoyable ways to relax and unwind.

Do Something Out of Your Comfort Zone

Maya Angelous said, “Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” This quote makes me think about doing something exhilarating and out of the norm. I don’t know if I’ll ever be brave enough to jump out of a plane, but one small bucket list-slash practical item on my to-do list is to go to a shooting range. I have a few girlfriends in other cities who I was surprised to learn do this all the time. I’m not a gun person per se, but as a single woman, I figure it couldn’t hurt to know how to handle a gun. Plus, I can get my “Charlie’s Angel” pose moment on for real! I’ve looked up a few places where I can go, so I’ll keep you posted on this one!

Take That Solo Trip

Traveling alone can be a rewarding, reflective experience. First, it is liberating to not have to wait on someone else to dictate when and how you can move in this world. Years ago, I made plans with a significant other to do a getaway weekend to Jacksonville Beach on some random holiday weekend. I was really looking forward to going and the day before we were supposed to travel, he cancelled. He said he was too tired to go. I was so disappointed as I got off the phone that I packed a bag and went anyway. Yep, your loss, buddy! And when I got back from the beach I got online and booked a flight to go to the Bahamas solo the next month. I found an all-inclusive hotel, I visited Atlantis, rode on a speed boat, ate conch and drank Bahama Mamas by the pool. It was lovely! Of course, you should always think about being safe as you travel alone be aware of your surroundings. For me, the only difference between single travel and having a companion is that I didn’t have to worry about keeping him safe while I was by myself. :-)

Work. Life. Balance. I hope the next time you think of this phrase, you will imagine the scales of justice and ask yourself, “Am I balancing my time working and living on this earth in such a way that I can look back and say I have truly lived?” If someone asks you what moments of your life have taken your breath away, will you have something memorable to share? Or will your list be filled with work accomplishments? Both are equally important; however, you get paid to go to work, and hopefully it is fulfilling. You must invest in yourself to have a fulfilling life. Now go forth and smell the roses!!