Finding Wisdom in the Process

Embracing Mindful Decision-Making

"By focusing solely on the end result, we miss out on valuable
opportunities for growth and learning"        

Admit it, when faced with a dilemma - whether it’s something big like which job to take or small like what to eat for dinner - our natural inclination is often to rush towards the best outcome. We may believe that quick decisions demonstrate strength and efficiency. The process of weighing probabilities, considering prior experiences, consulting trusted sources, doing research, and whatever else we need to do to get to a decision?can feel like a grind?or bring up anxiety and complex emotions. Going with our gut can feel easier, less taxing, and like far less work, even if the outcomes are less than perfect. However, by focusing solely on the end result, we miss out on valuable opportunities for growth and learning. As?Amelia Earhart?famously said, “The process is its own reward.”?

In his book "The Yellow Pad: Making Better Decisions in an Uncertain World", Robert Rubin, a former U.S. Treasury secretary and co-chairman of Goldman Sachs, shares his insights about making sound decisions in an uncertain world. In an?excerpt from his book, he noted, “Outcomes do matter. But they’re not all that matters.” By going through the process (in his case, collaborating with others and weighing probabilities of potential outcomes), it can open your mind to new possibilities, trade-offs, and understanding of others’ perspectives.

Nevertheless, taking our time with a decision isn’t always easy. When humans are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious (how we may feel when faced with a complex dilemma), primal parts of our brains (primarily?the amygdala) activate certain responses. We may shut down entirely or enter into “fight or flight” mode, causing our focus to narrow dramatically and cut off access to our more creative and analytical parts of our brain (the prefrontal cortex). We are temporarily less able to listen, empathize, or relate to those around us as we seek to remove the “threat” as quickly as possible, or in this case, a thorny challenge. It may even push us into “cognitive distortion”, when we get into a vicious loop of anxiety or irrational thoughts that change our perceptions of reality.

We all encounter hard decisions accompanied by underlying emotional challenges. To unlock wisdom and reduce anxiety, it's crucial to give ourselves sufficient time for a mindful decision-making process. Here are some practices to consider:

1.???Acknowledge how you feel

Note your physical and mental state as you contemplate the decision. Observe without judgment, paying attention to your breath, heart rate, and muscle tension. Take some deep breaths, close your eyes - like you are sitting outside of yourself, looking in. This self-awareness calms the “fight or flight” reaction in your brain and engages more creative and analytical thinking.

2.???Embrace uncertainty

While it’s important to establish various options and the probability of different outcomes, remember that nothing is pre-ordained. We cannot foresee or control the future; we can only prepare and adapt. By evaluating choices, even ones with lower chances of success, we will be better equipped to face whatever comes our way.

3.???Ask for input

Relying solely on our own knowledge and experience can limit our perspective. Collaborating and seeking guidance from others fosters creativity and wisdom. Asking for feedback is a sign of strength, not weakness, and can provide fresh insights or reaffirm our choices.

4.???Stay focused on your intention

Evaluating multiple options can be overwhelming, but reminding yourself of your ultimate goal can provide clarity. Consider your purpose and weigh each choice within that context.

By embracing a more mindful decision-making process, we unlock the rewards of wisdom and growth. Slowing down allows us to learn from the journey, rather than rushing to the destination.

Interested in learning how coaching might help you live your best life? Schedule your free introductory call today or visit Cross the Road Coaching.