Finding True Wisdom Amid Pain and Joy

Life can sometimes throw us off balance, leaving us feeling unsure, helpless, and indecisive about which choices to make. Often, we're haunted by regret over past decisions, living as if we're still stuck in the same old mindset from way back when. We rarely show ourselves the understanding we long for and too often beat ourselves up over the outcomes.

But life can also be a beautiful tapestry of joy, beauty, and laughter, even when we're not feeling or looking our best. How do we embrace this aspect of life? Here's what I've realized: life keeps moving forward no matter who we are, how much money we have, or where we come from. There will always be challenges and lessons waiting for us to conquer, some days brimming with joy and others heavy with sorrow. It's an endless rollercoaster ride, the yin and yang, and nothing can shield us from the emotions except death itself.

So, we have a choice. We can either open our hearts to the lessons that enrich our wisdom, or we can wallow in sorrow until our last breath. The power is in our hands. I, for one, opt for joy over pain. Even when pain strikes, I remind myself that it's temporary. I allow myself to face the pain, experience all the emotions it brings, and then choose happiness despite the circumstances. Because, at the end of the day, it's all an illusion. Our eyes reflect our state of mind, and I choose to make peace with it all.

But it wasn't always this clear to me. At one point, I believed that material possessions and achieving goals would somehow shield me from life's pain. I thought that only the less fortunate suffered while the wealthy had it easy. So, I decided to work hard to avoid being a "have-not." But as I grew older, I realized that you can't outrun pain. It's like a woman in the ninth month of pregnancy trying to escape the pain of childbirth. Even with an epidural, the mother still feels the pressure. Then the baby arrives, and we think it's all smooth sailing. But some nights feel like pure agony as we fight sleep to tend to the most precious being on earth – our baby.

Hardships are inescapable, and acceptance is the first step in overcoming them. Pain reminds us that we're alive. Trials give us a reason to question, challenge ourselves, and evolve. How we face adversity speaks volumes about our character and our thirst for growth. If life were always rosy, would we push ourselves? If everything went our way, would we strive for more? Comfort may seem like the path of least resistance, but how many times have you felt inadequate in your comfort zone? We tell ourselves that's all we want, but once we reach it, we find ourselves yearning for more. We numb ourselves to escape the pain, but deep down, we know it's not the answer. Ultimately, escape leads to long-term emotional pain because we were created to feel and experience. We draw from these experiences to craft stories because we are creators. Whether expressing joy through fabric as a designer or using a canvas to convey emotions as a painter, it all conveys our joys, memories, and lessons. And through this, we create the grandest version of ourselves, for God bestowed upon us the gift of creation.

What I've come to understand is the importance of staying present in every season of life. Some seasons will test us more than others, but if we rely on a force greater than ourselves, we must remember that every storm is temporary.

So, during difficult times, I've adopted several practices that have helped me, and I hope they can do the same for anyone reading this.

First and foremost, I've realized that forgiveness is vital. We won't always make the "right" decisions, but that doesn't define the end of our journey. Life keeps evolving until our last breath. So, we need to forgive ourselves and press on without dwelling on the past. We all grapple with internal battles that can sometimes cloud our judgment. Depending on where we focus our thoughts, we can end up treating ourselves and others poorly. Forgiveness doesn't erase the pain, but it allows us to recognize our role in every situation. It enables us to extend grace to others and cultivate a more loving heart.

Furthermore, it's crucial to cultivate gratitude. Even in tough times, there's always something to be thankful for. Sometimes, it's as simple as stepping outside and looking at Mother Earth's beauty. Nature serves as a reminder that everything goes through a cycle, we must endure hardship before we truly live. The more grateful we are, the more the universe gives us more things to be thankful for. If we focus on negativity, we'll only attract more of it – it's the law of life. I've never met a negative person who was content, fulfilled, or truly happy.

Lastly, I remind myself to breathe each day.

When I consciously inhale and exhale, I am present.

We can't control the past or the future, but we must remain present in the now as we uncover the "why" behind it all.