Finding a Temporary Escape

Passion - Obsession - Addiction

These three are in a sequence. This means there is a gradual change between these three as it progresses. There is a very fine line that separates these from one another. And usually, when we cross this line, we don't even know.

1. Passion - You want to do it.
2. Obsession: You have to do it.
3. Addiction - you can't live without doing it.

Passion creates and an addiction consumes

As long as you are passionate about something, you can use your passion to do something, make yourself into something, you can create. But when your passion becomes an obsession or addiction, then it starts consuming you. Passion creates and an addiction consumes and this is just a basic sketch of the emotional intensity of these three.

As long as you are passionate about something, But if we talk particularly about addiction, if we have to go to its root, if we really want to understand the behavior of an addict, then we should first talk about human suffering and pain.

Addiction is always about pain

That is the right place to start the conversation. Because addiction is always about pain. Addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. All the substances of abuse, be it liquor, opiates or cocaine or heroin or any drug, they are all pain killers.

It's about soothing the pain. Even for just 30 minutes, I don't want the realization of the situation I am in. I don't want to realize my disgusting situation. It's about finding a temporary escape. There is a quote by Rolling Stones guitarist, Keith Richards,

"All the contortions we go through just not to be ourselves for a few hours".

When you see the life of any severe drug addict, you will find an emotional void in their lives. They are emotionally hollow. Their childhood memories are very scary, they have been through pain upon pain, beating, emotional loss, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, character assassination. The right perspective to see addiction is that addiction is a human problem, which exists inside the addict, not outside. That's why ask not why the addiction, but why the pain. And this pain exists not in the life of drug addicts only it's there in everyone's life. Yes, the intensity of pain varies. It's more in someone's life and less in other's. But we all share more or less.

Perhaps our belly button is nothing but a scar of that wound

Cutting us off from the umbilical cord when we are born, which keeps us attached to our mother, when we are cut off from that, being torn away from her womb, we are snatched out of such a holy and safe place and thrown into this world, which is so cruel and harsh. This is also an abandonment, a traumatic experience which we all go through. And it has a very harsh psychological impact on our lives. Perhaps our belly button is nothing but a scar of that wound and as we all know that, suffering is inevitable.

You will suffer emotional loss in life, you will be rejected, you will be dumped, your loved ones will die. Either you will suffer physically or psychologically, but you will suffer. So let's admit that we all have pain and traumas in our lives and we all also have some remedy to suppress this pain and trauma. Like watching TV excessively, shopping, sex or Internet addition these are all means to get away from distress. Some people become workaholic so that they don't even feel these things. Addiction to relationships. here is a line from Elizabeth Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, Love. It says

"Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation based love story".

Binge-watching movies, binge-eating, these are all one or other forms of addiction through which we try to cover the mist in our life. These are all attempts to get away from distress, from pain and, not just that, today the whole market system works to trigger our addictive tendencies. Our food industry's purpose is not to make us healthy, but to prepare food in a way which can be used to trigger our basic addiction tendencies. so that people buy more and more.

Mobile phones are designed to make us keep touching and using them. App designing uses colors to make you use those apps for hours. And if you see addiction on a broader, global perspective, addiction of power, addiction of consumerism, addiction of oil, even religion is a kind of addiction that promises salvation and freedom. If you look into history, then addiction to power, consumerism, and oil has damaged the world in ways no other addiction has done.

So, first of all, we should throw out from our mind the idea that addiction is only of drugs or that only liquor drinking makes people junkies. Yes, these are the stigmatized forms of addictions in our society. It means that the intoxicant based addictions are frowned upon by society.

There are thousands of other addictions whose victims are me and you and society don't care for it. Because it is accepted wrong.

Be it any type of addiction, deep down it is always about pain. It is always about running away from the pain. We try to run away from the pain. We try to cover it and the truth is that the more you run away from pain, it will cause you more pain. As it is said,

"The surest way to go to hell is to run away from hell".

That's why Live with your pain. Don't try to run away. Feel it. Be with it. Do anything but don't run away. The more you run away from it, the weaker you will get to face that pain. To face the truth. But we can gather the courage to live with our pain, to live with truth, only when people around us show some compassion, are kind-hearted.

When people don't judge us. When society doesn't point finger at us. They don't be mean. Its only when people sense some compassion that they allow themselves to see the truth. It is a fact that we are all junkies, we are all addicted to something. And it's only when we sense some compassion, it's only when we are willing to hug each other unconditionally, love each other unconditionally, that we might understand that addiction is a poor substitute for love.

Addiction is a pale alternative of love. True love lies in human beings. if only we could share that unconditionally.