Finding Stillness in Noise

When the noise level becomes overwhelming, yet again, we will be desperate for relief—make it stop! or let’s get out of here!

Leading a business is never easy and that noise can come from any direction, at any time:? the financials aren’t what they should be; customers’ expectations become unreasonable; the staff are proving impossible to lead; the law is working against us.? The joy seems to have been sucked out of being an owner and a leader.?

Starting out, we expected happiness from doing this, but so often we find ourselves suffering.?

And there may be other events in our lives, such as the breakdown of a relationship, a permanent incapacity or the loss of a loved one, that will bring us the deepest of sorrow and suffering.? When both our business and personal lives are completely cacophonous, how can we possibly find stillness?

I have been fortunate to receive a brilliant book entitled Happiness is Overrated, by Cuong Lu. It’s slim, it’s in a small format—yet it took me a long time to read.? I like to take notes when reading non-fiction—to consolidate my learning—and from this I had plenty.

Lu spent his early adult life as a Buddhist monk and his studies had him cycling constantly between seeking happiness and fighting suffering—in himself and in others. His starting point had been that suffering is the enemy of happiness.

In writing this post, I’m not seeking to summarise, much less, minimise, what Lu learned.? There are many fascinating insights and this suffering / happiness tension struck a particular chord with me. ?However, if I do cut a short story even shorter, it is that (substituting noise for suffering):

Suffering has a cause, suffering has a purpose and suffering is just suffering.

If we identify that the burden of leadership is a cause of our suffering, it is easy to conclude that the only form of relief is to relinquish leadership.? For the business owner, this would also mean relinquishing the business.? Of course we will have developed an exit strategy, but both of these may come much sooner than we would have anticipated at the outset.? And the outcomes will inevitably be sub-optimal.

We may go even further, if we were to get out of Dodge and find a secluded bush block.? Ahh, serenity at last—except for the lack of infrastructure, the distance from extended family and friends, the bushfire danger, the isolation from education and medical help.

BTW, have you been watching the “Alone” series?? Faced with having to survive in the bush, some contestants last only a matter of days. The buildup of fear appears to come not so much from hunger or the presence of predators, but from anxiety of the unknown.

Could it be that the loudest, the most pervasive noise comes not from around us, but from within us??

If this is so, then it is not a matter of relocation, not a matter pf changing our environment.? But changing what is happening in our own minds.?

Our thoughts create our world.

To be calm, to be peaceful in the midst of any noise; whether this is a one-off event; the way we live our entire lives; or a matter of where we are we are.? We may achieve stillness by:

1. Recognising in the first place that there is noise.
2. Accepting that we are suffering and embracing that suffering.
3. Seeking a wise person with whom to have conversations.
4. Explaining to them the full extent of our suffering.
5. Finding the source of suffering—where has it originated?
6. Accepting that we can accommodate both suffering and happiness.
7. Accepting the learning from suffering—becoming stronger from it.
8. Being present with the noise we hear, remaining calm.
9. Devising a set of options, making an informed choice.
10. Doing what we need to, actually respecting the noise.

Lu says that suffering is the discrepancy between what is and what we wish to believe.?

Suffering—noise—is not a problem to be solved, but a truth to be recognised.

Finding stillness will come when we embrace noise.

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Next week: ?Dr Andrew Cornejo, Vigorous Limbo and BOLA

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About the Author

Jeff Bell?is Principal of executive consultancy ResultsWise in Perth, WA.?To boost your leadership, ask Jeff about Band of Leaders Australia (BOLA) [email protected] and his consulting, coaching and strategy facilitation, or his Advanced Leadership Course [email protected] Mobile 0439 988 662.?