Finding Stillness in Chaos: Being Present before Being Available

In our fast-paced, hyperconnected world, finding time for self-reflection and peace can seem like an impossible task. One of the practices related to Nyepi, a holiday I learned about while visiting Bali last year, is one from which we can learn regardless of our culture. I have decided to act on this concept. Read on to learn why, how, and when.

Nyepi, also known as the "Day of Silence," is a Hindu celebration observed annually in Bali, Indonesia. For 24 hours, the entire island comes to a standstill as people engage in fasting, meditation, and self-reflection.

During Nyepi, all public activities cease. No work is permitted, no travel occurs, and even the airport closes. Balinese Hindus spend this day in silence, contemplation, and prayer. Tourists are also expected to respect this tradition by remaining inside their accommodations and refraining from disturbing the peace.

The rituals leading up to Nyepi are equally significant. The Melasti ceremony, a purification ritual, takes place before Nyepi. Participants wear white and gather at water sources like beaches or lakes to cleanse themselves of past misdeeds. On the eve of Nyepi, the Ngerupuk ceremony involves parading and burning giant statues called Ogoh-Ogoh, symbolizing the purging of negative forces.

When we are silent and intentionally disconnected for a period of time, it can prepare us to manage the stress of the holidays and the possible difficult encounters with family and others that often arise. For example, instead of losing our temper at a crowded airport, we can choose to be present, in the moment, and realize it will all work out eventually, and it is not the fault of the ticket agent anyway.

Eckhart Tolle, a renowned spiritual teacher, emphasizes the importance of being fully present in the moment. He distinguishes between mere availability and true presence. As Tolle states: "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life."

A few years ago, I was so available for everyone else that I was running out of fuel for myself. I could no longer be 100% for my clients if I did not have 100% of myself to give. According to Tolle, “Your value does not come from what you give to others, but from who you are when you stand in your own truth.” By focusing on the present moment, we can free ourselves from thinking we must be available to everyone all the time and give ourselves permission to focus on self-care.

Inspired by the principles of Nyepi and Tolle's teachings, as a start here are a few actions we can take to make time for ourselves and cultivate presence, even amid chaos:

· Disconnect regularly: Take periodic breaks from technology and social media. Use this time to be silent.

· Connect with nature: Spend time outdoors, even if it's just a short walk in a park. Nature has a calming effect and can help us feel more grounded.

· Practice gratitude: Regularly acknowledge the good in our life- both big and small.

By incorporating these practices into our lives, we can create a personal "Nyepi" experience - a time of stillness, reflection, and renewal - even in the midst of a busy schedule.

I have decided to put these principles into action now. So that this newsletter does not contribute to the chaos, or clutter in your digital life during the holidays, I will take a break from publishing this newsletter until January 7, 2025.

Until next year, I wish you peace, joy, good health, friendship, and abundance, and most of all I wish for you moments of silence.

This week’s AI-generated audio deep dive provides additional suggestions about using silence, even amidst difficult conversations. Click below to listen.

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