Finding that ‘Something Missing’

"Is this it? Is this the best I can do? Surely there’s more to life…”

These were my thought at one particularly difficult time in my last corporate role. I was run ragged with responsibilities at work and at home, constantly on the go. It seemed I never had a moment to rest and recuperate from the incessant demands on my time and energy.?

I was no longer feeling fulfilled. What was once an exciting role had become a drudgery. I knew there was ‘something missing’. I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was, or — more importantly — how I might recover it.? Where had my enthusiasm gone? Why was I no longer in flow? What was missing?

It’s a sentiment echoed by many women leaders I meet and work with. Somehow, somewhere along the line we lose our connection to what matters to us — our sense of purpose. Get so caught up in the day to day, doing what’s expected of us, that we lose our way. We make compromises in order to get by or get ahead. Those compromises can hurt our integrity, leaving us feeling as if we aren’t or can’t be true to ourselves and our values.

Often when we’re troubled by something, we mull it over and over again in our heads. That can make us feel even worse, and often doesn’t really take us much further in understanding the full nature of that problem. Yet, with that full understanding, the solution is usually obvious.

As Albert Einstein once said…

‘If I had an hour to solve a problem, I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions”

It’s not just time that’s needed. We can fuss for 55 minutes and be no closer to a solution. What we need is a system — a way of addressing the problem that ensures we get to the very heart of it in that 55 minutes or less. I call it my Thinking Tool.

I use this whenever I explore these sentiments with a woman leader. It’s simple.? I ask a series of questions in a certain order. What many people fail to realise is that the order is critically important. Deviate from this and your thinking is not going to be as clear or as focused, and consequently you may not get to the very heart of the issue.

Those questions follow the wheel counter clockwise from ‘how?’ to ‘why?’ All the ‘how?’ Questions you can think of in relation to that problem; then all the ‘where?” Questions… until you reach your ‘why?’ At which point, you are as clear as you can be about all aspects of your dilemma. And have probably gained a number of insights as to what you could do to resolve it.

If not, merely shift to why you want the issue resolved,, and ask the questions in reverse order, running clockwise around the wheel to find your solution.

Find that 'something missing' — reconnect with your passion. Recover the ease, joy and flow of being on purpose. You deserve this for yourself and for those you serve with the impact you and only you can make.

Almira