Finding the right career is just like dating – here’s how to find your perfect match

It's the last day of February, can you believe it? By this time, many people have given up on their new year's resolutions and goals. I see it all the time. And I've been there myself for many years. Writing down my goals, then a few months later, forgetting all about them.

I'm a long time away from that now. I've made setting and achieving goals my work and my business. What I love most is getting people to transition into fulfilling careers and build businesses that feel good to them - inside and out. Recently, as I talked to a client about creating a unique career for her, I realized how much career change and dating have in common.

Just like finding the right career for you, finding love requires us to learn more about ourselves. It requires us to trust our intuition, take risks, be patient, and wait for the right moment. We must be open and honest with others, clear about what we want and don't want, and persistent in the face of rejection.

Some things can make career transitions harder. One of those things is not taking time to get to know yourself better and investigate the career you are considering. You don't jump into marriage or a relationship after the first date. The same is true for work. It's not always wise to jump into the first career opportunity. Take time to get to know your potential career before committing to it, just like you would with someone.

The most significant bit here is to be willing to be honest with yourself. Like with dating, and this is something I used to do when I was younger, don't like a career just because it looks good or because it likes you back. Your career is one of the most important relationships you'll ever have. The average person will spend 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime. It makes sense to really get to know what kind of career is going to work for you instead of settling for whatever comes along. 

One of the mismatches in dating and career change is jumping in too quickly. I get it; you're unhappy where you are and want to change. Now! But I suggest to my clients that it's better to slow down and plan a change carefully so you don't end up in the same place as before. 

The more you get clear on what you're doing, the more you become aware of what's not working. When I was newly single after my divorce, a friend recommended I try dating apps. I was initially reluctant, but eventually, I gave it a try. My first dates were with copies of my ex; it felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. I wondered why I kept attracting the same kind of people until I realized I was the common denominator. I began changing my approach actively, and soon I found myself on much better dates.

But how about the career opportunities that might come your way? How do you recognize the right one and make sure you don't limit yourself to what seems like a safe choice?

A key element I see in my practice is that change takes courage. Most of my clients have to go against the grain to find a career that makes them happy. I've had to do the same. When I decided to become a coach, I'd just sold my web agency and was consulting for the company that acquired it. At the end of the longest 15 months of my life, I told the company's CEO about the career shift I was planning. "Oh, so you're not gonna work anymore," was his immediate reply, as if I was going to dabble in some hobby and give up my career. 

I wouldn't call a full-time international coaching business a hobby, but the comments still threw me off for a while. Humans want predictability and security, so change can be scary. When someone comments in a stupid or harmful way about your goals, that will make you question yourself. The best way forward is to embrace change and not let fear - or other people's opinion - overtake your decision-making process. That's why it's so important to reflect on what you want to do - really reflect on it. Some people get married on a wimp, but most don't; there's a good reason. Relationships and careers always have an unknown element to them, but they can be calculated risks; having an action plan in place that allows you to make small steps toward your goal - this will give you confidence and make your career transition more manageable - and more successful. 

Finally, remember your mindset. The Buddha said: "All that we are is the result of what we have thought." What you believe to be true or not about what is possible for your career is the reality you will create for yourself. If you think that change is scary and hard, then change will be hard. If you believe you'll never find a career you'll love, or that you don't deserve one, it will be much harder to find and impossible to create it for yourself. 

If you believe change can be exciting and open up new doorways of opportunity, then change will bring these things along too. I choose to believe that. What about you?

Wishing you a wonderful two weeks,

With curiosity and courage,

P.S. Did you know I offer free 30-minute coaching sessions? They're a great way for you to ask me any questions, and for us to figure out if we're a good fit. Don't be shy! I love meeting new people! Schedule your free session here.