Finding Resilience in Rejection

What if you could reframe how you experience rejection?

Make no mistake, you're going to experience it, so learning how to reframe and rebound from the pain and embarrassment is crucial, so as not to be debilitated and defined by it.

Easier said than done, right?

This newsletter is the first of several over the course of the next few weeks on how to not only reframe the rejection , but to leverage it- to find resilience in the face of rejection and bounce back even stronger!

Have you ever noticed that some people seem immune in the face of rejection, while others seem to be mortally wounded??

Why is that??

More importantly, how can you become one of the former and remove the fear- even the potential paralysis- that comes from feelings of rejection?

First, let's define what we're talking about here.

What, exactly, is rejection? We define rejection as the act of pushing something or someone away. A person can experience rejection from several places, a romantic partner, a friend, one's family, or at work. The resulting emotions from these rejections can be especially painful and tragic.

Rejection is a part of life, and we can experience it in small or large ways in our everyday life. However, some rejections can be especially painful and more difficult to handle than others.

Rejection occurs in a variety of situations and conditions. ?It doesn't have to be emotional rejection or rejection at work; it can be something as little as refusing a gift, turning down an offer to see a game, or a number of other little things.? Compiled rejections can be especially difficult, especially where emotions are involved or one-sided.

Several studies have delved into why rejection can be so painful, and it's steeped in history. We developed the perception of rejection as an early mechanism to warn humans who risked being expelled or ostracized from their village, tribe, or communities. Being expelled from one's tribe in our gatherer and hunter past was a literal death sentence because no one could survive alone for long.

As a result of this, psychologists believe that our brains evolved and developed this intense feeling of pain when rejected to alert us when we risk being expelled from our tribes. Getting our attention was of paramount importance as we could then affect changes to our characters or behaviors, which would make us less likely to be expelled.

As human beings, we are wired to be connected to one another.? We tend to thrive- to be at our best- when we have support structures in our lives, be it parents, friends, boss/coworkers, partners/spouses, etc.?

We are designed for relationships, so when we lose that support, or worse- don't have it to begin with- there can be enormous negative consequences and permanent damage inflicted without taking time to process and reframe. Our ability to reframe and rebound from these temporary disappointments can help to determine the quality of our lives moving forward.

Personally, I have always learned more from rejection and failure than I ever have from success and acceptance. There's a reason 'no pain, no gain' is a thing.

I don't mean to imply that reframing rejection is easy, but I am saying it's required if you want to move forward stronger from the experience.

Or, you can choose to stay stuck in the pain.

It's your choice. Remember, choice IS your superpower!?

Next week I'll continue this series on rebounding from rejection.

Deb Dredden

Founder, Deb Dredden Transformational Coaching

Founding Member / Faculty,??Conscious Coaching Academy

949.939.2577

Choice Is Your SuperPower!?

Deb Dredden Transformational Coaching

"You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending."~C.S. Lewis

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