Finding qualities to love in your colleagues - and why it matters!

Feeling like you belong. Being acknowledged for who you are. Isn't that what we all long for at work? Yet...

According to HR Dive 2023 , in the US:

In the US:

• One in 2 employees only feel “somewhat valued” and 1 in 10 don’t feel “valued at all,” according to a January 2023 report by Workhuman. In its monthly Human Workplace Index, 46.4% reported the former and 10.7% reported the latter.
• Notably, 48.8% of women surveyed said they feel undervalued.
• Additionally, at a rate of 49.3%, workers of color were more likely to tell Workhuman they felt undervalued compared to the average.

In Canada according to Advisor’s Edge and HCMA mag research:

• 35% of Canadian employees feel bored and uninspired at work
• Only 33% of employees felt they belonged at work

Let's change this!

Isn’t workplace culture the sum of everyone’s contributions? Are we going to be satisfied with pointing fingers in an endless blame game? Let’s flip this need for acknowledgement by asking, "What do I need to do to show love and appreciation, and what I am contributing to a climate of belonging at work?"

Today I’m going to share three simple practices you can do to develop your love and appreciation muscles. By taking charge of spreading belonging like your life depends on it – which in more and more cases, has become the case, you will become the force of goodness you long to see around you. ?These simple practices are:

1. Give virtues acknowledgements
2. Listen mindfully
3. Choose to spread joy and kindness

Here is the first practice:

1. Giving virtues acknowledgements

Let’s start with a practice that will make you and others feel a lot more workplace happiness. It is as old as time and exists in every culture and religion around the world. It is called “virtues”. Virtues are the behaviour, attitude and skill that everyone aspires to, are admired for and can always use more of. They are qualities like kindness, helpfulness, wisdom, caring, hope, assertiveness, responsibility. Virtues are the opposite of vice – greed, callous indifference, rudeness, discourtesy, cruelty, but both virtue and vice are practiced behaviours. The ones you intentionally practice are the ones for which you develop skill.

What do you want to be remembered for – love or hatred? Greed or generosity? Empathy or apathy? Choosing to practice virtues starts by recognizing them in others. Download a chart of virtues vocabulary and see if you can identify someone with some of the qualities there. Then look for an opportunity to thank them, say “Thank you for your generosity! I really appreciated you helping me out the other day when I was so overwhelmed with tasks.” Or “I noticed you are the one people go to when they need an unbiased opinion, thank you for being fair and clear headed”. The more you recognize qualities in your colleagues, the more you promote a culture of inclusion, appreciation and belonging. As you use the language of virtues, others around you will do the same.?

2. Mindful listening 101

The famous peacemaker Mahatma Gandhi once said that if we are already thinking about what rebuttal we want to say while someone else is speaking we are practicing violence. Conversely, to practice peace requires attentive, present listening that truly hears what another person is saying. This does not need to take a lot of time. You can do it without any risk. Just look at the person speaking and see them beautiful. See who they really are inside. Focus on listening to this soul even for just a few seconds. It is so disconcerting to be truly listened to, that people may stop speaking mid sentence. They may slow down and calm their breathing. If you haven’t experienced it from a human, imagine the full attention a pet gives you to get started.

If you find your mind wandering or your attention being distracted to something you don’t like about the person, refocus, bring yourself back to the present moment, and appreciate this split second that you have to connect with another human being. Listen with love. It is powerful.?

3. Simple acts to spread joy and kindness

Finally I wanted to draw your attention to a shortlist of simple things we can all do to bring joy and kindness to work:

• Smile at people, and don’t expect a smile back, just smile.
• Greet others whether they greet you or not.
• Choose to help when your assistance would make a difference for another person.
• If others are angry, say “You seem upset, let’s walk together to X” Walking together builds unity and calms down dysregulated emotions.

People matter, their feelings matter, and everyone is going through something. February is #randomactofkindness month. It is #blackhistory month and its #valentinesday . Three great reminders that what we think, say and do matters because we are all in relation to each other.

So if you want to feel more valued at work and be part of those who belong, get started on these three practices and you will find your mood lift. Here they are again:

1. Give virtues acknowledgements
2. Listen mindfully
3. Choose to spread joy and kindness

Your workplace will be better because of it and you will feel more valued because you are contributing value beyond measure.

About the author

My name is Marie Gervais, and I help people move from work trauma to career transformation. With a Doctorate in Culture and Learning in the Workplace, Certification in Emotional Freedom Coaching, and as a Training and Development Professional, I have helped hundreds of stuck career professionals and managers take charge of their lives and reach their goals.

If you want to gain new insights, release what is not serving you, and turn wishful thinking into a meaningful, well compensated career, book your discovery call learn more .