Finding Purpose Through Mentoring

Moe and I are in Austin wrapping up loose?ends in the States until February 16. It's given us an opportunity to catch up on movies. We loved "Air" and "The Holdovers" and "Maestro." "Maestro" did not receive stellar reviews, but I loved it and recommend seeing?it.?

The movie reminded me of a post I wrote two years ago that I'd like to share with you.

"One good mentor can be more informative than a college education and more valuable than a decade's income."

-?Sean Stephenson

While attending an Inc. 500 event in Nashville, Tennessee, I had the privilege of sitting next to Bernie Goldhirsh, the founder of Inc. Magazine, on a bus ride from one event to a cookout.?

Inc. Magazine?was founded in?Boston?by Bernie Goldhirsh and its first issue appeared in April of?1979. Goldhirsh was an?MIT-trained mechanical engineer who also?founded?Sail?Magazine, which he sold for $10 million in 1980. Goldhirsh kept a low profile at Inc., but everyone I knew at the magazine loved Bernie for his gentle approach to leadership and life.

I only knew Bernie casually, but for some reason, he opened up to me during the half-hour we spent together. His wife had recently passed, and he missed her terribly. He said, "Since she's gone, I'm a?man without a purpose."

I asked him if he was familiar with the latter years of Leonard Bernstein's life, and I shared what I learned about him in a documentary I had?watched recently. Bernie was a fan of Bernstein, a world-famous conductor, pianist, and composer.

Being bisexual generated many conflicting feelings, and Bernstein suffered throughout his life with self-loathing about how it affected his marriage. He was married to Felicia Montealegre for 27 years until she died of cancer in 1978.?

She knew what she was getting into, in terms of his sexuality, before they were married.?

In a letter she wrote at the time of their marriage, she said, "I am willing to accept you as you are, without being a martyr and sacrificing myself on the LB altar." But in the end, it was incredibly difficult for her.

Their marriage went well for years, and then it all became unbearable, and she was sick with cancer for the last four years of her life.

I then told Bernie that Bernstein never forgave himself for how he had treated Felicia, and like Bernie, he'd lost his sense of purpose. That was the connection I wanted to make.?Bernie was in no way like Leonard Bernstein. I am told he was a wonderful, devoted, and?straight husband and father.

After her death, Bernstein began to mentor young artists with exceptional talents for the rest of his life to find a sense of purpose and redemption.?

I suggested to Bernie that he could be an inspiring mentor to young people. Bernie's eyes lit up, and he said mentoring could be a beautiful way of giving back.

Bernie and I never met again.?

I hope this caring and giving man found a renewed purpose, and some were fortunate to have Bernie Goldhirsh as their mentor.

"Getting the most out of life isn't about how much you keep for yourself, but how much you pour into others." --?David Stoddard

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