Finding Peace in an Uncertain World

In my 40 plus years, I can point out five times I can remember being in a truly peaceful state in an uncertain world, not chasing or catching up or rushing but feeling at home with the world. One of those times is actually occurring as we speak, and it has provided me with the encouragement to share a previous time. I’m sharing this with the hope to encourage you to find your peace.

20 years ago I had recently gotten back from a trip to NYC to visit a friend and was preparing to go abroad for a semester at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. The previous fall a pivotal shift happened in my life. I had been charged with a DWI in Virginia and spent a night in jail. I was no longer invincible as I had gotten away with plenty and that had come to an end. The next few months I fell into a dark hole that included pleading guilty to the charge in the spring and no longer being inspired to pursue pre-med and my plan to follow in my father’s footsteps of being a physician, the definition I knew of as success.

My academic grades had fallen from a career so far of As and high Bs to Cs and even low Cs that spring. My grades had fallen off so much that our college oversees counselor had to check with St. Andrews to make sure I could still go that fall. They did still let me come but the stress and anxiety around those days was real.

That summer, I was powering through as I sometimes do to not think about or address what was happening in my life. I was working hard and playing hard, both of which I enjoy. While in NYC, we had a little serendipitous moment. We went to a restaurant called Windows on the World at the top of one of the World Trade Center towers. We enjoyed martinis while literally on top of the world.

A few days later while traveling to St. Andrews, the World Trade Center towers would no longer be there. The world changed. Sometimes when you think you are top of the world, you are actually in the midst of a struggle and are really trying to find your peace in this world.

I was flying from Amsterdam to Glasgow, Scotland when the planes flew into the towers. I wasn’t supposed to be on that flight. I was supposed to meet my friend that was going with me to St. Andrews for the semester in Newark and then we were going to fly over to Glasgow together. Due to weather, his flight from Knoxville could make it to Newark but my flight from Memphis could not. My uncle who recently won Who Wants to be a Millionaire was at the Memphis airport the same time as us and was going to Poland via Amsterdam. I ended up getting on his flight and going to Amsterdam and then on to Newark. If I had not gotten on that flight, my life would be very different as I would have not been able to get to St. Andrews in time to start the semester as all flights to the UK were stopped for a while.

Cell phones were not nearly as common as they are today. Neither my friend nor I had a phone that would work oversees, so we told each other before we left the States what our flights were planned to be and to wait on each other when we got to Glasgow. My flight ended up arriving later and when I got to Glasgow my luggage did not arrive with me, so I had to wait behind to gates to put in a claim for my luggage. I’m grateful my friend did wait at the gate, and we made it safely. A few moments later, a Scottish gentleman who we had a hard time understanding due to his accent was trying to tell us about the World Trade Center and Capitol attacks. We did not believe him at first as it was surreal, but the newspapers already had the photos of the attack and the magnitude of the situation started to set in.

All phone communication had been shut down between the UK and US, so the only way for us to communicate to our parents was via email, which was a very new communication tool for us at the time.

Looking back at this time, I remember a sense of peace coming over me that started on the flight to Amsterdam in the midst of an uncertain time. Those first few days provided me with an awakening that I was meant to be there. That this was my future and the shift which happened the previous fall was planned. I just so happened to be in a class that the Chair of Economics for St. Andrews was teaching. He inspired me to pursue a new path towards a business career.

Shortly after that inspiration was occurring, my friend and I were walking down the 18th hole of the world’s original golf course, the Old Course at St. Andrews, after having a couple of pints at a nearby pub, and my friend said wouldn’t it be great to stay here. I didn’t say anything at the time but the next day I met with the Chair of Economics and started the process to apply to St. Andrews.

The transfer was accepted and I graduated from St. Andrews three years later while living two and a half of those years a couple of hundred yards from the Old Course. This a print of that 18th hole that is hung in my library today.

The image is a constant remember to find your peace. After 11 years of a career transition and growth from a government consultancy, name change, building a team and finding the best people to work with as clients as well as a personal transition and growth in finding our long term home and enhancing my health journey, I feel again that sense of peace that things are headed in the right direction.

Please share with me when you have found peace.