Finding Peace - Do you REALLY want it?

Happy Thursday friends! Today's Newsletter is all about Peace! Below you'll find:

A thought, A quote, A Tip, A Resource, And a Win from the week!

A THOUGHT TO CONTEMPLATE

Peace. We all want more of it…

And the holiday seasons can help to exacerbate those sticky conversations we know we need to have or remind us of the tension that could be currently steaming with a relative, loved one, friend etc.

But where some of us hit a wall is in the reality that we don't know how to obtain peace or whether we are actually willing to do what is needed in order to drive peace in the first place…

Therefore, the question becomes are you willing to do what is needed to reconcile?

If you want to experience the feelings and emotions of peace, you have to buy into a belief system of peace: love, understanding, compassion, vulnerability, empathy, and hope

And the process required to obtain it: apologize, forgive, and reconcile.?

If you want the pay, you have to play

If you want the result, you have to work

So, are you actually willing to reconcile??

If not, then you can drop any desire or hope for peace!?

It’s that simple!?

If you are not willing to reconcile then it's counterintuitive and strategically illogical to want peace.?

During my masters program in dispute resolution, one of the key takeaways I had was that peace is a two-way street.?

What must be found:

1. peace in the them and they in you
2. peace in yourself, and they in themselves

If you are waiting around for someone to apologize to you in order to undo the damage, then you’re playing the wrong game.?

Cause guess what? They could apologize to you, and you could wake up the very next day still harboring resentment, frustrations, anger, and annoyance with them. So then what? Back to square one??

Many think apology is the key to peace, but through my education I learned that it is not the only step in finding peace.?

There’s forgiveness and reconciliation as well. And true peace can’t be discovered without all 3?

Peace happens when parties come together to acknowledge, learn, and grow.?

Now if you believe you have done so and the other party has shown or expressed they are not ready to do so, then all you can do is what you can control:

• apologize on your end
• forgive on your end
• reconcile on your end?
• and have grace and patience for that process to play out in them

A QUOTE I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials” - Seneca

Tip of the week

Question your perception and belief system around conflict

Conflict does not HAVE to be associated negatively, we as a common society have elected to connotate it as such

I challenge you to constructively reframe a current conflict you are in and then be in tune to notice the emotional difference between the two beliefs

For example, sense how different ?“I am sick and tired of this bullsh*t” vs “I am grateful we are learning about one another in this” actually feels.?

We might not immediately like the constructive, positive reframe because our brains are likely still in a state of conflict, fight, and flight but ultimately when you learn to breath in constructive reframing and give it space to develop around you, the difference in approach becomes very noticeable and you'll find it very helpful in obtaining the peace you are hoping for

Resource I have been pumped about?

The beauty of conflict | Clair Canfield | TEDxUSU

Wins from the week?

HUGE win from this week is that I have recently been invited to be a paneled Mindset Coach for an App designed to support youth athletes, specifically high school athletes, through services such as mentorship, expert advisory, and mindset coaching. I am really excited to share more details about and keep everyone posted on its growth!!