Finding peace in discomfort

This has been a trying year, and I know you can relate. There’s so much more to learn about how to navigate the Covid-19 crisis. Following are a few methods and approaches that have helped me get a tiny bit more comfortable with the heaviness of uncertainty. Hopefully, reading the following tips will help you find some peace.

Practice Gratitude

Much has been said and written about the profound perspective-altering power born of simple, sustained gratitude practice. I begin each day with what I’ve nicknamed my “list of 5.” Since this practice began, I’ve shifted to a more mindful, present existence. Problems are overshadowed by solutions. Thankfulness returns me to genuine hopefulness and optimism. I’m more productive, and I serve those I love better. I’m humbled by the gifts life has given me, and unproductive self-pitying behaviors evaporate. 

Choose Joy

Some of life’s sweetest and most unexpected beauty intersects with the darkness of adversity. I’ve come to realize that circumstances cannot be chosen, despite the purest of intentions and the deepest desire to control. We can’t will the virus out of existence, no matter how hard we long for a return to normal. We can, however, choose joy. We can strengthen relationships and demonstrate kindness. We can express the appreciation we’ve neglected in the past. We can show others just how much their lives and actions mean to us. Even in the midst of the unknown, we can honor joy’s fleeting nature through our choices. Today (and tomorrow’s tomorrow), I will do my darndest to choose joy. Here are some things I’ve been doing:

• Going on as many bike rides with my son as my schedule will allow.
• Reading.
• Sitting on my front porch smiling at my neighbors from a safe distance.
• Listening to podcasts.
• Meditating.
• Joking and laughing with my family.
• Playing card games.
• Taking in sunsets and sunrises.
• Engaging in work that makes a difference in the lives of others.

Recognize Resilience

My great grandfather Jerrod Jerome Ball is chief among the people that have influenced my life. A survivor of the great depression, he taught me so much about our inherent resilience. At an incredibly tender age, his father passed away from tuberculosis. Jerrod quit school to become the sole provider for his family. He was never bitter about how quickly he had to depart from the innocence of childhood to do what needed to be done. I now understand that my Papa knew very deeply that love is not just a word but an invitation to action. Love means hard work, loyalty, humility, and most importantly sacrifice. When I’m afraid of what cannot yet be seen, I remember that my Papa’s blood is coursing through my veins. I am the child of survivors, as we all are. We need to pause to reconnect with our resilience by recalling examples of grit. Let’s dare to follow their willingness to get back up when life knocks them down … if not for ourselves, for those we’re influencing. 

Stay Curious

Learning about ourselves, others, and the world around us is a really helpful way to overcome fear. Some of the most emotionally intelligent people I’ve encountered are keen observers. They are curious about the perspectives of those with whom they don’t naturally agree. They dive into art, music, theater, and the written word. They learn other languages and discover new hobbies. They’re also curious about their own thoughts and actions, leveraging their inquisitiveness to accept feedback.

I’ve found that curiosity also helps us stay out of dangerous judgmental thinking patterns. We’ve all found ourselves ensnared in the painful trap of judgment. Please take a beat to notice how you feel the next time you say something like, “If I were her, I would never…” or “Can you believe that he would actually …”. I’ve become increasingly aware of the negative impact judgmental thinking has on me. One recent short, biting condemnation of another person (even when just thought, not uttered) closed my heart to their experiences and perspectives. There’s real work for me to do in this space. 

It is also helpful to educate oneself about the virus and prevention measures. Unfortunately, there’s not a shortage of bad information. In a span of approximately 15 days, the number of positive cases in the US recently exploded from 3 million to 4 million. I don’t know about you, but I’m still grappling with that exponential increase. Education helps. Reliable sources of information calm fears and help us focus on what we can do to take care of ourselves and our neighbors.

Take Action 

I’ve not yet found a string of words that serves as a meaningful substitute for action. Let’s remember that hope is not just a concept. We need to do what we can to improve conditions in our workplaces and communities. We can encourage and empower others to solve problems. We can make meaningful progress toward goal achievement even when we don’t have all of the information we need. Now is not the time to live only in our heads and become paralyzed by analysis. 

Chase Energy

I hope you all are graced with the presence of light givers in your professional and personal lives. Growing up in a small, dusty desert town, I crossed paths with two women whose positive energy continues to inspire me. The first, Chelsea, is a delightful, charming person who must smile and laugh a thousand times in any given day. She’s warm and welcoming, and she’s pretty adventurous. She encourages me to do better, to be better. The second, Angie, is witty, silly, and full of endless optimism. I sometimes wish I could see people through her eyes. She’s afforded me some of the deepest belly laughs of my life. She is just so down-to-earth and friendly, that it’s nearly impossible to have a bad day when she’s around. 

As we make our way through the coming months and even years, consider chasing the energy. Connect with people who inspire you. Run away from draining attitudes and toward positivity, light, and laughter. 

Closing Thoughts

I know you may be tired or even exhausted. I empathize with you. You’re not alone, and there’s no one that has handled this all perfectly (despite the highlights featured on their social media feeds). In our shared error, we’ve learned and grown in ways we probably didn’t know were possible. Some of my life’s most meaningful lessons were learned in ways I would not have chosen. Failure, heartache, and several devastating diagnoses … all a refiner’s fire forging wisdom and patience. Be kind to yourselves and others as we move forward together. You’ve got this, and if you feel like you don’t … we’ve got you.