Finding Ourselves through Discomfort in the Unfamiliar

Traveling exposes us to cultures beyond our familiar shores, offering a canvas rich with opportunities for learning and growth. It's in navigating these moments of discomfort and uncertainty that we begin to appreciate and decipher cultural nuances.

Erin Meyer’s “The Culture Map” beautifully illustrates this notion, detailing the variances in how we communicate, lead, and work across cultures. Clotaire Rapaille’s “The Culture Code” further unlocks the door to comprehending the subconscious cultural cues that shape our behaviors and reactions. Combining our own experiences with these cultural guides, let's explore the world we live within.

The Scale of Communication

Meyer introduces the concept of low-context and high-context cultures. For instance, Americans often find themselves in awkward situations in Japan, a high-context culture, where communication is subtle, layered, and relies heavily on non-verbal cues. These encounters offer a mirror, reflecting how our inherent communication style is shaped by our cultural upbringing and challenges us to adapt and understand the unspoken nuances of conversation.

A recent drive through the orderly highways of France presented an initial shock, as my husband and I are accustomed to the assertive and rule bending Los Angeles traffic. Maintaining below limit speeds and signaling in to the right lane constantly differed from our usual "get to the car ahead of you as fast as possible" motto. We even found ourselves taking 2-3 breaks and switching drivers during a 3.5 hour car drive because of mental fatigue (jet lag, anyone?), when we could have driven 200+ miles nonstop during a comparable drive time in the Midwest. This shift in driving style tested our adaptability and ingrained behaviors, as shaped by our upbringing in the States.

Decoding Cultural Imprints

Rapaille’s exploration into the “cultural codes” provides a fascinating perspective on how early imprints shape the worldview of different cultures. A quintessential example is the American code for love, which is ingrained as “false expectation.” This revelation explains the awkward moments American tourists might experience when expressing friendship in countries where love is viewed through a different lens, such as France, where love is coded as “art.”

While attending a wedding in Germany, we were at a loss for words beyond the occasional "ja" or "danke." Yet the warmth of the celebration, heartfelt speeches by the Best Man and Mother of the Bride spoke a universal language of joy and connection. Their loving energy radiated to all the guests, transcending language barriers and honored the bridal couple in their expression of love and celebration.

Real-Life Lessons in Adaptation

Meyer shares the tale of a British executive in Sweden, feeling awkward and out of place with the consensus-driven Swedish work culture. His initial discomfort turned into a journey of self-discovery and adaptation, learning to navigate and appreciate the collaborative Swedish environment.

Similarly, Rapaille decodes the American obsession with youth, revealing the cultural code for youth as “recreation.” This notion can lead to misunderstandings with cultures that associate youth with inexperience and venerates age and wisdom, like in many Asian societies.

Building Bridges Through Awareness

I invite you to reflect on your own travel and life experiences. What was the context of the story? How did it feel at the time and how do you feel about the memory now?

On the recent European trip I felt wholly aware of being American, through conversational styles and topics (not knowing the proper way to end a conversation), manner of dressing and eating etiquette, and time perception (the correct time to arrive at breakfast). At times I squirmed from embarrassment, I recall a particular cringe-worthy moment. Yet I distinctly remember telling a friend that I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat, I felt myself growing through that discomfort, that I wish I had more moments like that in life.

So embrace the uncomfortable. Let the insights from Meyer’s and Rapaille’s explorations guide your journey through different cultures. Every awkward encounter is an opportunity to learn, grow, and understand the rich tapestry of perspectives that our world offers. Step out of your comfort zone, increase your cultural awareness, and unearth the codes and maps that make every culture uniquely fascinating.