Finding The One Thing

“Do not judge me. You know my name, but not my story.”

?– Demi Lovato

“Patrick, I need you to help me with something right away.”

My mom spoke those words to me less than five minutes after I arrived in Pinehurst, North Carolina from a cross country flight in the fall of 2007.

My dad unexpectedly passed away in his sleep the night before. My shock and sadness temporarily halted as I became curious, bewildered and slightly concerned by the strange request from my mother.

She took my hand and quickly led me into my parents’ bedroom. I noticed a step ladder next to the closet.

“I need you to go into the attic. Dad left a package hidden in the corner in case anything bad happened to him. Please climb up there and get it for me.”

Sure enough, I found this mysterious envelope and brought it back down.

My Mom and I sat down on the bed next to each other and opened our mystery.

$1,000 in cash fell out.

Tears of sadness got replaced by tears of laughter.

Why leave the cash?

My parents were raised during the Depression Era. Cold cash owned extreme value when the world around them as children crashed both economically and socially.

Never completely trust a bank. Sock some cash away in a secret place if it happens again.

When you live through a big event crisis, it gets ingrained into your brain.

Forever.

Baby Time

On February 26, 1993, my coworkers and I experienced and survived a terrorist attack in the World Trade Center South Tower.

Life changing event.

Six months later, seemed like everybody had a baby on the way.

We humorously called them “bomb babies".

However, humor can be used to express underlying emotions, such as anger, sadness and fear.

My coworkers and I received a wake-up call about the uncertain nature of this very short journey called life.

Get busy living or get busy dying.

The same happened after World War 2.

The term “Baby Boomers” referred to the noticeable increase in the birth rate immediately following a horrible world war that only ended after two nuclear bombs detonated.

People came home from war and quickly started families and catching up on life.

We are all shaped and impacted by common life changing events.

The post Covid world is no exception.

YOLO Economy

Call it doom spending or “you only live once (YOLOing), the coronavirus pandemic tremendously altered how Americans spend their money. We are taking more extravagant trips, splurging on concert tickets and sporting events, and saving far less than historically normal. The current personal savings rate has reached a level not observed since the Great Recession.

While the Great Depression ushered in a culture of frugality and austerity, the covid pandemic resulted in the complete opposite effect on consumer spending.

Especially spending money on experiences that we share with other people.

Covid introduced a prolonged period of isolation and a reminder of the uncertain nature of our short journey.

Instead of having babies, we are depleting our savings.

When you don't really know what the future holds – or even if there's a long enough future for you – people are focusing on the present and the short-term horizon.

Covid-19 has generated a series of social, economic and cultural effects which will have long term impacts.

Big Events

Big Events are times when out-of-the-ordinary, significant occurrences like war, a collapse in the economy, uprisings, or pandemics upend regular life and future expectations.

They have the potential to quickly alter social networks, behavioral patterns, and conventions pertaining to health.

The impact of these big events can often be so significant as to define a generation.

We often do not immediately recognize or completely understand the specific changes associated with these big events either within ourselves or society.?

But they make us pause and subconsciously ponder one important question.

How do I define a fulfilled and purposeful life?

The answer to that question will clearly be different for everybody.

And it really is not anybody’s business to sit in judgment on how anybody answers that question.

Find The One Thing

After the first attack on the World Trade Center, I knew a friend who quit a lucrative job as a successful mortgage bond trader. He just up and disappeared one day into thin air.

About a year later, he sent his former coworkers on his trading desk a remarkable picture that brought laughter and smiles.

In the upper deck of Mile High Stadium in Denver, Colorado, Jimmy stood tall and proud with a full rack of Coors draft beers for thirsty Rockies fans.

With a huge smile on his face.

While the picture contained no words, we got the message loud and clear.

I am taking a little time to figure things out while I pass some time being “The Beer Man.” I am gonna be ok. Just chilling out for awhile until I get back on the merry-go-round.

I think we all know a Jimmy in our lives who is taking a sabbatical after the Covid 19 pandemic. Somebody trying to shake off the negative impacts of a period of sustained isolation and trying to answer one important question.

How do I define a fulfilled and purposeful life?

At the very end of the 1991 movie City Slicker, Jack Palance (Curly) and Billy Crystal (Mitch) engage in a memorable scene:

Curly: You know what the secret of life is?

Mitch: No. what?

Curly: This. (holds up his finger)

Mitch: Your finger?

Curly: One thing.? Just one thing.? You stick to that everything else don’t mean ??shit.

Mitch: That’s great, but what’s the one thing?

Curly: That’s what you’ve got to figure out.

That’s the challenge in life, but the key to your success …?you have to find your one thing.

Patrick McGarry

April 16, 2024

Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida