Finding My Purpose in These VERY Dark Times !!
Samantha Wall ????
Digital Marketing Strategist- MCIM / Business & Student Mentor / Social Entrepreneur
I’m more grateful now than I’ve ever been - in the last few weeks, its been such an incredibly stressful and testing time (not just because of work), as I conclude at the end of this article.
When life sometimes resembles a horror movie, your happier moments feel so much sweeter.
In early August myself and my team of digital marketing professionals began a new contract with another client based at MediaCityUK
On the days when our team get together, working from our clients’ offices at #mediacityuk (which we’re doing more of), a LOT gets done.
THE TARGETING I ENDURE & PROTECTING CLIENTS / CONTRACTS / COLLEAGUES
I work with a digital team of freelancers on digital marketing / SEO projects; 2 developers, writers, a graphic designer, a couple of social media experts & 2 PPC experts - we’ve been working together on client projects on/off since 2019.?
The rapport we have is second to none, it’s why I protect them so much, an additional element to what I have to do - we can’t just service clients well and deliver results (because this isn't a normal situation).
I have to ensure my team don’t become targets (because I’m very much a target in the real world as well as the online world).
I have to watch mine (and my teams' backs) constantly, it’s like a battle ground when social media “influencers” are picking off mine / (and my colleagues) clients - should I ever mention them in public/social media - more often than not, havoc occurs.
Five of my client contracts were cancelled this year because of lies / #gaslighting (aimed at me), from others, my colleagues have also been threatened directly on the phone (because they work with me).
More recently, I've gone to extreme measures to adopt 'damage limitation' which sees me keep contacts & colleagues' off social media and low profile (except on our website which is run by one of my colleagues; it's where all our work & recommendations as a team sit!!).
My name is NOT on there!!
This actually means, that I'm not recognised for any work that I do with the team, and actually, because of the very public gaslighting, it has really become the entire case for me, over the years (period).
Crazy isn’t it hey?!
I'll happily sacrifice recognition for any of my business efforts if it means I can earn an income (the latter being a necessity for survival).
I've found that there is no room for average 'human' ego in this respect.
So, publicly I remain rather unimportant to anybody with little achievements to show for my business efforts, especially of late and I largely use my own social feeds to promote others and their work (although in doing this, I'm still, alarmingly a target and a figure of hate).
The World is a strange place, even when you choose to make yourself irrelevant in order to survive.
I have gone to great lengths, in order to protect my income and (more importantly) the income of those around me.
I calculated, I’ve lost over ￡80k (personally) in earnings within the last 2 years, because of extremely heavy targeting and lies - for me, money is so unreasonably tight.
I also have the cost of legal services.
AND the time!
It has NOT been easy!!
It still isn’t easy!!
WE ALL WORK HARD
Our team of freelancers work with clients who have large budgets to spend on SEO/PPC etc.
Over the years, we’ve ALL been impacted financially through the gaslighting I've received (I have more than myself to consider in all this).
OUR TWO CURRENT CLIENT CONTRACTS ARE STILL SAFE - (even after I was disturbingly and unfairly arrested 11 days ago - held in custody for 7 hours - I HAVEN'T BEEN CHARGED)
Back to the good stuff for a minute, I love Mediacity!?There’s always a business event and often networking (with a transient flow of people visiting too).
Two of our largest clients are based there and grabbing a bit of time with them when needed is relatively easy!
In fact, our team of freelancers (we’re a cohesive / close bunch and we know each other well after 3 years) - I’ve known some of them 10+ years personally and professionally), have become almost an extension of our two client’s teams.
Perfect!
This means, we often get invited to their internal meetings (sometimes even if this is to hear where the company is heading, I’m often personally asked for my input here), and we also get invited to quite a few of their brilliantly enjoyable team events.
AN EXTENSION OF OUR CLIENT’S BUSINESSES
In fact, we are such a feature with our two clients at Mediacity, we are automatically recommended to their own clients /partners and contacts and this has become somewhat of a consistent generation of new business so far.
Myself and members of our team haven’t just formed strong business relationships here but we’ve also become friends personally with our client’s employees - it’s begun to turn into an extended family in many ways.???
That's something I've really needed, especially at the moment.
If I need to pop over to see my clients at Mediacity I’m welcome to work from there.
As freelancers, as long as we’re hitting our team deadlines together and producing great results, it’s really all our clients care about.
Unless there’s a specific meeting we must attend with our clients, as individuals within our team, we can choose to work from anywhere we want.
BENEFITS OF WORKING AT MEDIACITY
I love working at Mediacity from our clients’ offices on the days we do, there’s always something exciting happening, I’ve got friends there, I enjoy seeing and spending time with (even if my other team members have chosen to work from home or are working on other contracts).
It’s about trust, hard-work, keeping your word, caring about your results and ALWAYS it’s about clear communication.
I have been nothing short of honest and open with my clients and my team about the recent trauma relating to the intensity of targeting I have gone through.
Because I have been so open about my experiences in this respect, I have thankfully received understanding and personal support (although, at first, I did not seek it, I tried to deal with things alone because of the heavy feelings of shame and exhaustion with recent events).
However, my arrest when considered objectively makes no sense at all to anybody and more importantly, now to myself, as all I have done is speak honestly and openly in public on my social media feeds about what has been incredibly harrowing and destructive to me as a human being.
Our team is now in the fantastic position of having consistent, ongoing project work - we have a rolling 6 month digital marketing/SEO contract reviewed at the end of each period (with both clients).
BUSINESS & SOCIAL EVENTS
The business networking events available are endless at Mediacity and it’s a great place to learn about latest cutting-edge technologies.
There’s always something going on at Mediacity ; we’ve got Box on the Docks, outdoor dining with a rotating residency of food & drink pop ups & live music.
We’ve got a massive outdoor digital screen anyone can watch which regularly airs major events including sport/football.
At MediaCityUK we have ( BBC , ITV and The University of Salford ), it means we’ve got all sorts of things happening, like the “I'M A CELEBRITY... GET ME OUT OF HERE!” interactive action packed jungle experience.
It’s EPIC and a great team bonding experience - just recently, our freelance team (mixed with our client’s employees) did the challenge, we had to collect stars during physical & mental challenges - the jungle setting is brilliant.
There’re always regular studio tours (#BBC / #ITV ), and awesome exhibitions - just such a huge range of exciting events taking place from contemporary & immersive artworks to live music experiences.
We’ve got Salford Watersports Centre with open water swimming, SUP and Wakeboarding which all take place just outside the docks. I haven’t tried this yet. One of our team has been wakeboarding and LOVED it.
The Pitch at Mediacityuk is for team sports and it’s flood lit, some of our team have played our clients’ employees in 5 a side football (they’ve actually got an ongoing mini league going on with a couple of other businesses). ??
There’s a Virgin Active at Mediacity with a brilliant gym & a beautiful pool and spa (it’s not unusual for me to go in here with a pass that I often get through my clients so I can use the facilities for free - I’ll do this if I’m too late to use my local gym, when I get home.
Quayside views are just stunning!?We’ve also got walking / jogging routes across the Mediacity area - I sometimes run here too.
WE WORK REALLY HARD
All in all, I think myself and our team of freelancers are lucky to have found a “home from home” when we choose to work and spend time there.
Nothing is forever, all we can do is continue to do our level best for our clients but with a tidy stream of recommendations coming to us for digital marketing/SEO at the moment and the ability to work from where we like, I’m honestly so grateful.
God knows, after all the targeting, gaslighting, threats, stress and anxieties (not just me) but also effecting our team, we deserve it.
I will absolutely without question, protect this situation we’re in, because I, more than anyone, knows what it’s like to have your income destroyed with ongoing gaslighting on a daily basis aimed at destroying my life, reputation, relationships, trust, confidence, clients and income (and mental health).
I have often felt that when I talk about better moments, there always seems to be somebody out there ready to pounce on me and destroy it in any way they can.
NB Since originally writing this piece, the aforementioned did happen and I found myself in a prison cell for 7 hours, with my digital devices seized for speaking out in public about my experiences of targeting and harassment (arrested for exactly the same thing I've been enduring myself for 10 years).
Although I’ve been very ill since this and have felt mentally destroyed, unable to access my telephone numbers and social media platforms (incl Facebook) and totally debilitated in preventing new client pitches I’d won from dropping away and losing more money because of it.
I’m thrilled and so truly grateful to say these clients and my team have continued to support me.
I’m so thankful because without them I honestly don’t know where I’d be now. I have had dark thoughts about ending my life because I've been so trapped in this hell of lies and hate for a decade and it all seems to get worse and worse.
Things like this do destroy you and I’ve needed immeasurable mental resilience to simply get up every day and carry on with my life.
It doesn't need to be said, that having a 'reason' to live, requires something beyond yourself that motivates you forward - a greater purpose.
In every case, I see the greater purpose as always being the ability to add something positive to the lives of others.
As I haven't been charged with any criminal offence and my DBS remains clean, I also continue my voluntary work, mentoring and coaching young people, homeless outreach, support with local foodbanks and with a range of charitable causes (these being the most important things in my life which actually bring very real meaning).
I'm acutely aware that my persecutors know how much my mentoring and voluntary work means to me, as such, I am awaiting another more viscous strike which removes the very meaning of my life (because during my time in this last decade of hell, I have had to come to expect that anything is possible).