Finding my purpose: Part 1- In the beginning there was dog...

Connected through shared pain:

You know the bible says that there are angels among us. Which leads me to wonder, just how many of you out there (angels) have touched me in my life. Whether literal, or being used by one through a person to minister to me, either way, I want to credit those out there for what you have done for me.

I can point out, that I know of, a few who have lead me to my purpose. In early 2019, I was going through a very difficult time. I was depressed, suicidal, ptsd, and having episodes of psychosis on a regular basis at that point. A friend of the family named Heather (part of the DAR - Daughters of the American Revolution), had been supporting an organization called Alpha Bravo Canine.

There at their community event supporting veterans, she met the first member of Alpha - Echo, with his handler, trainer, and Founder Jennifer Green. Echo was the first dog raised by Jennifer (The co-founder of Alpha) for her son whom suffered from military related PTSD. Jen was trying to help her son heal a wound using the best thing she knew how....training dogs. She found her purpose, to serve by raising, training, and pairing service dogs.

At that time (summer, 2019), every day I felt like I was in a tornado of emotion, constantly triggered and in a state of panic. Heather had heard that I was struggling, and also that I was interested in pursuing a service dog. She quickly forwarded me the contact information for Alpha Bravo Canine. Whom promptly coordinated with my spouse (at the time) to help me complete the application to become eligible for being considered to be paired with Charlie.

But at the same time, in June 2019. Echo, the famous cornerstone of the program for Alpha, Charlie's mentor, and Jen's most loved companion, suddenly developed a cancer and had to be put down. She was experiencing grief, and loss, at the same time that I was struggling. She must have many moments of tears, sorrow, and sadness for losing her companion. And yet, she pressed on with her purpose, continuing to pour her life out as a sacrifice, training new service dogs and pairing hurting veterans like me, even while dealing with the grief of her loss.

She called me personally on the phone after I had a major trigger episode at an airport in Pennsylvania in July, 2019. And we started developing a rapport and bond right away. She told me straight forwardly, "It can take up to two years to match you". But behind the scenes, she had her eye on one of her dogs, service dog in training Charlie.

He was a spunky and attentive young boy. She had to give a tad more attention to keep him in line. "He was a good boy", Jen later described to me about his raising experience. But he was a handful to be sure. He had a partner to crime too. Charlie you see, has a brother. And their favorite past time during training, was PLAYING. They would run around in the studio barreling through tunnels making it sound like a tornado was inside the training studio.

Jen wasted no time to try to pair Charlie as soon as she deemed him ready (I later learned how critical the timing is for the imprinting process). But in that moment, I wasn't sure if I was ready. I felt so anxious, self conscious, and socially awkward. So what did Jen do to see if I could handle Charlie for our first public outing together?

She threw me right off the deep end and straight into the middle of the pacific ocean, on a bus ride to DOWNTOWN New York City, into the FRONT of THE parade on Veteran's day (2019) (THANKS JEN??!!!) Haha, no seriously it was the first week I met him and I was so nervous. (Jen is not the slowly pealing Band-Aids off, she is the Jack the Ripper type of no nonsense people I needed in my life). (Facebook article link below)

Link To Facebook article for Veterans Day, 2019

But, looking back on that day. I can remember waking up thinking "how in the heck am I going to be successful handling a brand new dog I just met in a parade"? (I didn't know at the time I would be in the front, nor did I know how large this "New York Veteran's Day parade" was...). Alas, now I think she didn't tell me her plan, so I wouldn't overthink it before I got there. Her intentions all along, were to trauma bond us together....she is a devious person, but for the right reasons. She knew I needed a push.

It reminds of that hit movie Avatar when Jake Sully had to jump right into the bonding process with his target host. So he overcame his doubts, and wrestled that thing to the ground. He took center stage and pressed on towards his goal despite the risks. In the same way, someone who had paralyzing social anxieties. The only way to cure it?.....Push the man out to face his fears and encourage him to learn to swim!

The whole time, I was shoveling treats down his gullet to keep him focused on me. I really didn't want to screw up. Unfortunately, my anxiety got to me, and I packed Charlie so full of treats, he started doing his poopy butt dance ON THE SUBWAY in New York. (He would actually poop right on the sidewalk next to a traffic cop).

I barely just met the dog, and here we were....walking hand an paw center stage at one of the largest Veteran's Day celebrations in the country (November, 11, 2019). Afterward, Jen laughed at both of us (lovingly) "You both will sleep well tonight". She wasn't wrong. We bonded in that moment, Charlie and I, through trial. We made it through our dramatic day together. The point is, I had to learn quickly to get over myself, my fear of rejection, and just take control of my fears and step out into this unknown. The parade itself was rather blissful. Almost serendipitous actually. And it left me with this sense of confidence. I could step out in front and lead if I need to.

This is my thanks to a few ladies being used by God to minister to me, and to connect me to the help I needed, when I needed it. Thank you Heather (DAV), thank you Jennifer (Alpha Bravo Canine). This was just the auspicious beginning of our pairing. Because the journey had just began. Stay Tuned for Part 2 Titled: "Trials through Pain" coming next week. Until then, here are a few more addicting dog photos covering Charlie's time with Alpha. (Credits below)

Credit goes to Alpha Bravo Canine, Daughters of the American Revolution, and all those who donated and gave time to raise Charlie up and expense him to bring me a tool to overcome mental health challenges. Thank you Marguerite for training Charlie and taking care of him. Thank you Grant and Kim for sponsoring me while I was training with Charlie. Thank you God for SD Charlie.