Finding Mentors and getting mentorship

Finding Mentors and getting mentorship?

(Notes for new startups- Newsletter # 3)

Thanks to Nativelead.org, Anna Incubator and VIT-TBI, I had the opportunity to work with many startups. I started with volunteering to help these startup ecosystem players. My original intent was not to become a “mentor”, but was to help the founders by sharing whatever I know and experienced. With more than three decades of my startup experience, I have lots of ideas and experiences to share with founders. I realized that these inputs were found to be useful and often saved time. These exchanges led to my becoming a Startup Mentor.?

At present, I work very closely with six startups. A number of startups have some informal sessions with me, not as a formal mentor. This article may help both Startup founders who seek mentors and those aspiring mentors. Many mentors in the Indian startup ecosystem do not undergo any formal orientation before they start mentoring. I also started without any foundational knowledge. Later, I studied many books and articles on this topic. I contemplated these theories with my own field experience. Here I would like to share my learning for the benefit of all in the ecosystem.?

There are four similar roles with differences which can be confused with one for the other in the space of Mentoring. People confuse them and expect things that they cannot expect from these different roles.?

The four similar roles are (a) Mentors (b) Coaches (c) Consultants and (d) Advisors. Some of these people who have these different roles may overlap, but they are not the same. As a founder, if you understand these differences, it would help you to set the right expectations and go to the right type of people.??

Mentor: A mentor is someone who has experience and expertise in a particular field or domain and is willing to share their knowledge, skills, and insights with someone less experienced in order to help them grow and develop in their personal or professional lives.

Mentors typically offer guidance, advice, and support to their mentees, and may serve as role models, sounding boards, or sources of inspiration. Mentors and Mentees have to have a high degree of trust and respect too. Coaches should also have similar relationships. Mentors are people who may not always have all the answers. But Mentors help you unleash your potential, with the right questions. Mentors help you discover your own latent potential.?

Coach: On the other hand, a coach is someone who helps individuals or teams to achieve specific goals by providing structured feedback, guidance, and support. Coaches typically work with clients to identify areas for improvement, set goals, and develop strategies for achieving those goals, often through a series of structured coaching sessions. Coach and Player relationship is more professional than personal. The objectives are very clear.?

The main difference between a mentor and a coach is that a mentor tends to offer more broad-based guidance and support, while a coach typically focuses on specific goals and outcomes. That is why in sports performance requires a coach.? Additionally, a mentor-mentee relationship is typically more informal and based on a personal connection, while a coach-client relationship is more structured and focused on achieving specific objectives.

For example, when a player approaches a coach, it is very clear that they are practicing a certain kind of sport. The process of identifying which sports is not discussed. But in the case of Mentor - mentee relationship, often the future is not very clear. The person is likely undergoing a discovery process of what is to be done in future and the choices.?

In Coaching circumstances, the goals are measurable and therefore the actions are specific. In a mentoring situation, it is exploratory and there are not structured paths to solution. The uncertainty of many things under mentoring conditions makes it more personal and philosophical. Both the mentor and mentee must understand the nature of the discovering process. Why is this important? A mentee should not approach the mentor expecting the mentor to provide right solutions and step by step approaches. At times, for certain questions, mentors may provide such simple step by step answers also. However, in many of the situations, particularly during startup building processes, there are unique situations for which there may not be ready made solutions.?

Under these circumstances mentors ask a series of questions and engage with the mentee in conversation or maybe dialogue to provoke the mentee to come up with different ways of looking at problems and solutions on hand.?

Whereas a consultant will know his job exactly and offers you specific solutions for a specific problem or services. Their engagement is more professional than personal and less exploratory or engaging. Sometimes, mentees tend to expect mentors to act like a consultant. These expectations may not be fruitful. Again consultants often are going to give one or two concrete options for the problems on hand. But the mentoring situation may be more iterative most of the time. The key is accepting the mentor to play the critic and supporter role simultaneously.?

Advisors: Similarly Advisors are low engagement people who may have some interest in the founders, but may be able to guide you on certain issues. They may not completely take up the matter in their hands and execute it for you. Whereas consultants for a fee will get the things done. Mentors should not? be expected to do all the execution as that is not their role or expertise. Mentors may recommend a consultant for such things. Mentors can also double up as advisors in certain contexts.?

Getting the best Mentor: To get the best from a mentor- mentee relationship, both mentor and mentee must strike a strong bond which should be based on mutual trust and respect for each other. Great mentors always have the interest of the mentee. They do not hesitate to point out problems honestly. Even as they point out problems with the mentees, they are non-judgemental and help the mentee to overcome the problems. Sometimes, people tend to say that I have a mentor, with whom they never have deep conversations. Just providing tips in very short meetings may not be a great way to mentor anyone. Mentoring sessions are intensive and consistent and often deeply engaging with continuity and at periodic intervals. It may not be effective if the meetings between mentee and mentors are very short, and done in a hurry and less continuous.?

Mentees who do not open up and be vulnerable in engaging with Mentors, cannot get any benefit from mentorship. This is a problem serious challenge for mentors. Unless mentees volunteer to disclose there is no way any improvement can be achieved. Similarly a person who is judgemental and prejudiced cannot be a great mentor.?

Entrepreneurs by nature are confident people. When entrepreneurs face problems they go into a shell and think that they only have to find solutions for all the problems individually. It is not necessary. A better way is to have a mentor and work with him or her closely.?

Mentors should also know that experience is like a crutch, not all their experience could be relevant in all places and time changes and new possibilities are created.

Great mentors help founders overcome these limiting beliefs, not constraint them with their beliefs which are like walking with crutches, whereas the new situation may demand using skates to move fast.?

One should be able to find a mentor in their own circle. All that it requires is an open mind and ability to listen and communicate well. If you think you are not getting any mentors, it may not be right. If you ask well meaning people in your community, they may be more than willing to be a mentor.?

Nothing explains Mentoring process better than a Zen Master story below

"Once upon a time, a learned professor traveled to a Zen master seeking wisdom. The professor approached the master with his mind full of knowledge and his cup of tea in hand. He was eager to engage in a deep philosophical discussion.

The Zen master welcomed the professor into his humble abode and invited him to sit. As they began conversing, the master noticed that the professor's cup was already full. Not only was his cup filled with tea, but his mind was filled with preconceived notions, opinions, and beliefs.

The Zen master decided to teach the professor a valuable lesson about the nature of learning and true understanding. He gestured for the professor to pour the tea into his cup. As the professor poured, the tea started to overflow onto the table.

Confused, the professor exclaimed, "Master, my cup is already full! The tea is spilling everywhere."

The Zen master calmly replied, "Exactly. Your cup is like your mind. It is filled to the brim with your own knowledge and beliefs. How can I pour more wisdom into a cup that is already overflowing? If you wish to learn, you must first empty your cup."

The professor realized the profound truth behind the master's words. He understood that he needed to let go of his preconceptions and be open to new perspectives and teachings. He humbly emptied his cup, allowing space for the master's wisdom to flow in.

From that moment on, the professor approached his studies with a beginner's mind, free from the constraints of his previous knowledge. He found that by embracing a receptive and open attitude, he could truly absorb the wisdom that the Zen master had to offer.

This Zen story reminds us that in order to learn and grow, we must be willing to let go of our preconceived notions and be open to new ideas. Just as a cup must be emptied before it can be filled again, our minds must be open and receptive to receive true wisdom."

A good mentor is one who is willing to spend quality time with mentee and also has the wisdom to work with the mentee. It is likely all people who have otherwise succeeded could be great mentors. Mentoring requires an attitude to teach and helping mentees succeed. It is not about transactions based on expectations.

Some people tend to assume that only the most successful would be a great mentors for them. Remember, very successful people are likely to have so much demand and expecting them to spend quality time is not easy. Instead look at an accomplished expert in your circle. Start an informal exchange of thoughts, before you formalize the mentor mentee relationship. Give sometime for this relationship to evolve and mature.

One can even consider having multiple mentors.

I hope this post helps you understand the process of mentoring. What do you think? If you have any questions, post them below or tag it to me. We will have a dialogue!