Finding Mentors

In both academia and the corporate world, we are frequently told about the importance of mentors. Naturally, my younger self was perplexed about what that first step looked like. For one, I was the only one in my family who chose to join the biotech world. Most of the time, my family has trouble understanding what it is that I do, much less finding me the right contacts. I was extremely lucky to have gone to the right school and had the right preparation, but to say I didn’t know much about the corporate world was a vast understatement. Fortunately, I was in good hands in my first job, so even at times when I didn't know I was mentored, I was on the receiving end of good mentorship. So now, perhaps halfway through my career, I finally have some insights to offer on this subject. Here are my three lessons.

Lesson 1: Ironically, the first rule about finding a good mentor is to not ask for one … explicitly. What I mean is that, outside of certain specific settings where mentors and mentees are signed up and paired, asking for mentorship from someone whom you don't know well is like asking to get married on the first date. Someone can look great on paper, but things may still not work out. Mentorship isn't much different from most relationships: there has to be chemistry and trust before it can be fruitful. By the same analogy, just because someone says yes, doesn't mean there is a happily-ever-after. Asking someone to be a mentor is requesting a lot of commitment; it is less onerous to ask for help with a specific question or problem. This exercise alone will force you to think about what you want to get out of the relationship, be it career development or learning a new skill. To sum it up, lesson one is not to ask for a mentor, but to ask yourself what you want to learn first. No one can give you a roadmap if you don't know where you want to go.

Lesson 2: Don't expect to learn everything from one single mentor. All of us have strengths and weaknesses. This is why asking for someone to help with a specific problem is more likely to be productive than generically requesting them to be your mentor. Throughout my career, I have learned the most from asking specific questions such as how to solve a scientific problem, how to gather support for my idea, or even “I had a bad meeting, what should I have done differently?” What this exercise does is it forces you to be more observant so you approach the right person for the right topic. Relationships with many of my mentors have been built this way. Even in absence of an explicit commitment, my mentors are generous individuals who enjoy problem-solving and giving me their perspectives. And for that, I am grateful.

Lesson 3: Approach mentorship like networking. I know you are probably thinking: great, there are now two things I don't know. Let me give you a different perspective: I am offering you a solution to both of your learning needs. As social animals, we are instinctively more comfortable with people we know than people we don't. By reaching out to potential mentors for advice, you are giving them opportunities to get to know you. Through discussing your problems together, you are showing the other party your critical thinking abilities, values, principles, and willingness to grow. This is what I mean by trust, and with trust, comes comfort. Throughout the course of your relationship, there will be times your mentor is unable to help you with some questions. Naturally, they know people that you don’t. Their comfort with you will likely lead to introductions to people who can help. In this context, networking is the propagation of comfort.?

Aside from these three lessons, I have two additional parting thoughts that, while may not be fundamental to the process of finding mentorship, may make this journey more rewarding.

One, the most common failure mode I have observed is mentorship from individuals who became successful largely due to luck and/or innate abilities. These people don't make good mentors even when they try to help you. When you ask these lucky folks how they got to where they are, they often give you a recount of their life history. These stories are of no use to you because you can not relive their lives. In contrast to this, those who are most helpful are the ones who can offer you a reproducible process, no matter the environment. What distinguishes these people from the former is the intentionality they put into the process. When talking about their careers, they will frequently explain why they did what they did. Their career story is a book of lessons learned rather than a series of fortunate events.

Two, approach your mentorship like you would all your relationships, with sincerity and bidirectionality. I think of all my mentors as first my friends. Some may be more senior than me but we share the same interests in problem solving and growth. In this regard, the time we spend together isn't always a transfer of knowledge, it's an exchange of hopefully equally stimulating conversation.

My career has greatly benefited from many mentors. If you have given me any advice, big or small, take my calls on your way home or meet me for coffee when I need you, you know I'm profoundly grateful.