FINDING ME

Chapter 2: Spiraling into Resentment

Brenda hated the idea that she might not be enough. She rejected it and instead shifted her focus to why her life wasn’t enough. Sure, Jake had given her everything she dreamed of that she put on her vision board, but she felt emotionally distant. When was the last time they were intimate? she wondered, bitterness creeping in. She resented that whenever they had a date night, Jake would invite another couple. Brenda was convinced he didn’t want to be alone with her, using other people to buffer their time together. The more she dwelled on this, the more resentful she became. Slowly, she began blaming Jake for the emptiness gnawing at her.

Determined to address it, Brenda decided to talk to Jake about her feelings. She approached him cautiously, opening up about how lonely she felt and how distant he seemed. She asked why they weren’t intimate anymore. But Jake’s response caught her off guard. He raised his voice, frustrated, and abruptly walked away, announcing he would be sleeping in the guest room. He left her lying in bed alone.

Brenda cried herself to sleep that night.

The next morning, she woke to find Jake had left the house early without saying goodbye. Great, she thought, now he’s ignoring me. His behavior felt like punishment, a way to shut her out. She tried to push away the thought, but it gnawed at her. She focused on the one thing that still brought her joy—packing for the girls’ trip and their class reunion. The thought of seeing her friends and the fun they’d have lifted her spirits, briefly putting a smile on her face.

But Jake’s coldness continued over the next few days. He came home later and later, barely speaking to her. He kept sleeping in the guest room. Brenda started to wonder if there was someone else. She had never worried about Jake cheating before, but now the thought of him with another woman crept into her mind, taking root and growing. It made her even angrier, feeding the resentment already brewing inside her.

By the time the weekend arrived, Brenda was more than ready to leave. She couldn’t escape fast enough.