Finding Ly-Ang #27: Are You the Bee or the Tapeworm?

The end of the year is here, and while everyone’s busy choosing their word for the next one—“growth,” “resilience,” or something equally Pinterest-worthy—let me throw you a real question to ponder: what kind of symbiotic relationship are you living? Are you the bee buzzing around creating sweetness for everyone, the barnacle hitching a free ride, or—brace yourself—the tapeworm, thriving at someone else’s expense? Oh yes, it’s time to get uncomfortable, but in a fun, thought-provoking way because that’s the point of these Wacky Wednesday newsletters. To make you think, laugh nervously, and hopefully grow a little.

Nature is wild, and so are we. In the natural world, symbiotic relationships keep the balance, but let’s not act like humans are above all that. We’ve just dressed it up in corporate lingo and family drama. There’s mutualism, where everyone wins—think bees and flowers or those friendships where you both hype each other up and leave brunch feeling like Beyoncé. Then there’s commensalism, where one party benefits, and the other shrugs, like the barnacle living rent-free on a whale’s back or that friend who “borrows” your HBO Max password without ever offering snacks in return. Parasitism is the ugly cousin in the mix, the mistletoe that looks festive but is secretly strangling the tree, or the coworker who offloads their work on you while reaping all the credit. Predation? That’s when one thrives by annihilating the other—lions and gazelles, exploitative bosses and burned-out employees. And let’s not forget amensalism, where one party’s existence casually wipes out the other, like a towering oak tree blocking all the sunlight while it lives its best leafy life. Sounds eerily familiar when you think about privilege, doesn’t it?

Here’s the thing: we’re not just living these dynamics; we’re embodying them. We pride ourselves on being the most intelligent species on Earth, but for all our smarts, we’re still pulling the same survival stunts as the rest of the animal kingdom, just with better PR. We build skyscrapers, tweet from Mars rovers, and argue over latte art, yet somehow, we’re still tripping over our 99.5% genetic similarity to others who look, speak, or believe differently. It’s not just messy; it’s downright ridiculous.

But it’s not just about the here and now; it’s about the roots, too. Take a hard look at your family tree. Were your ancestors the bees building a hive, the cuckoo birds sneaking eggs into someone else’s nest, or the predators devouring everything in sight? The privilege you enjoy or the struggles you endure didn’t appear out of thin air—they’re the echoes of past symbiotic relationships, some mutual, some parasitic, some downright brutal. And if that makes you squirm, good. Squirming is the first step toward awareness.

Now, let’s circle back to the present. What kind of symbiosis are you practicing today? Are you uplifting others, coasting along, or draining the life out of someone else’s hard work? And don’t get defensive; this isn’t about guilt—it’s about accountability. Unlike nature, we get to choose how we engage with the world. We can decide whether to perpetuate systems of predation and parasitism or build relationships and communities rooted in mutualism. The difference between us and the barnacle is that we have a choice.

Symbiosis isn’t just some biological trivia; it’s a mirror. It forces us to confront how we move through the world and what kind of impact we leave behind. Nature isn’t forgiving, and neither is history. If we don’t evolve beyond our current dynamics, we’re just barnacles with Wi-Fi, clinging to outdated systems while convincing ourselves we’re the pinnacle of progress.

So, as you set your intentions for the year ahead, maybe skip the generic resolutions and ask yourself this: Am I the bee, the barnacle, or the mistletoe?

Nature may be wacky, but it doesn’t have to be a mirror for societal ills.

Live Laugh Love—and let’s aim for better symbiosis, not parasitism.