Finding Ly-Ang #1 Help! I need somebody! Or maybe not.

The Finding Ly-Ang Wacky Wednesday Newsletter is back. It is a New Year, it is a New Day, and We Are Feeling Good… Blessings, Nina—Yes, Simone.

It has been a minute, but here we are again to discuss topics that are relevant to our human sanity.

Today, we talk about help and how those who have a hard time asking for it have been placed into the ungrateful box. Well, are they? Are independent individuals obliged to accept help at any cost and from anyone? What about the outcome of the so-kindly-offered help? Can we ask for it to be up to our standards, or should one accept any result as long as no one is injured during the delivery of the unsolicited help?

See, growing up as a self-sufficient, resourceful, and imagination-rich kid taught me one very important lesson: if you want something done right, do it yourself. If I didn’t know how to do it, I’d figure it out. YouTube tutorials before YouTube existed, baby! This little personality quirk turned me into a walking encyclopedia of random skills, an insatiably curious human who asks "why, what, when, who, how" about everything.

It also turned me into a person who HATES asking for help.

Why? Because help often comes with conditions. Or worse—mediocre results. And let’s be real, nothing makes my undiagnosed-but-totally-there "OCD" twitch more than watching someone completely butcher a task I could have done myself. So, for efficiency, sanity, and the preservation of my blood pressure, I’d rather do things my way.

I do it myyyyy wayyyyy. Cue Frank Sinatra.

But life, being the chaotic little trickster it is, occasionally throws things at us that are too big to handle solo. And when that happens, well, even the best of us crack a little:

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down!

Yes, yes, I know—I should learn to ask for help. But do you know what’s even harder than asking for help? Accepting it. Even when it’s freely given, even when there’s no hidden agenda, even when someone just wants to make my life easier—I struggle. If you do me a favor, my brain immediately starts calculating what I owe you. It’s like I have an internal transaction register. (And no, I don’t know where the "clear balance" button is.)

But I’ve been working on it. And here’s what I’ve learned:

It is perfectly OKAY not to ask for help if you can genuinely handle things on your own. You are not obligated to let people mess up your perfectly curated systems, your color-coded spreadsheets, or your absolutely non-negotiable coffee order. Some of us are simply wired to be independent, and that’s not a bad thing.

However, if help is offered sincerely, and especially if someone just goes ahead and does the damn thing for you, accept it. Embrace it. Say thank you and resist the urge to critique their method. Because not everything has to be done your way to still be valuable.

So, to all my fellow lone wolves out there, let’s make a pact: if someone we trust and respect offers help, let’s try—just TRY—to accept it without spiraling into a mental debt tracker. And for those who see us struggling in silence, just go ahead and do the thing. We won’t ask, but deep down, we’ll appreciate it. Maybe even sing about it:

Help me get my feet back on the ground, won’t you please, please help me?

(But like, do it right. You know how picky I am.)

And on that note—Live, Laugh, Love. Or at the very least, Accept, Adapt, and Appreciate.

See you next Wacky Wednesday!