Finding Love, Power & Peace

Meet Dr. Ezzie, the creative mind behind the re.love method, a fantastic approach that uses the power of positive psychology to help women find self-love and self-acceptance, have fun dating, and build strong, healthy relationships.

She is also the author of the best-selling book "Lunar Abundance: Cultivating Joy, Peace, and Purpose." Her book, along with the companion Reflective Journal and the Australian title An Abundant Life, has reached 40,000 homes worldwide. These books are all about helping women connect with their bodies, intuition, and emotions by tuning into natural rhythms and cycles.

In the past, Dr. Ezzie worked as a human rights lawyer in Australia. She later completed a Ph.D. in therapeutic jurisprudence after toxic relationships.

#FridayFutures Highlight 28: Ezzie Spencer, Author & Coach - Lunar Abundance, Re.love & the Splinters?

Tell me about your career journey from traditional law into becoming a successful author and coach.

Many people are surprised to hear that I have a background as a human rights lawyer. I specialized in working with women who were in abusive relationships and did my Ph.D. in therapeutic jurisprudence, which is all about how the law can be healing for women who have been sexually assaulted. It was a very specific and deeply meaningful career track. As you alluded to, what happened was quite dramatic and took me out of that career into working in more spiritual and energetic realms.

I had a spiritual awakening on the 15th of March, 2011. At the time, I was working on my PhD. What happened was I actually experienced a home invasion, which wasn't great. However, the part that really shook me was that I had seen it all the night before it happened. I'm talking about a vivid vision I had in my apartment where I saw the men entering my apartment, and the entire event played out in the vision.

This was so disconcerting. The next day, I took action to try to prevent what was going to happen. I parked my car in a different place, remained vigilant, and then I turned around on the 15th and noticed my handbag was gone. I called the police and informed people around me of what was happening. By the time I got back to my apartment, it had been ransacked. The disorientation I felt was profound, especially as someone trained in the law to deal with objective reality, facts, and linear time. The fact that I had seemingly broken the boundaries of time and space to foresee an event a day in advance was extremely shocking and disorienting to me. It opened up a new world for me.

From that day forward, I could see things differently. I could see energy and disturbances on a deeper soul and energetic level in people. I could jump around in terms of timelines, seeing where people had been, where they were going, and their soul's evolutionary journey. There was an enormous internal struggle because I felt that. what I was experiencing didn't fit into the rational world I was accustomed to as a lawyer. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and trying to make sense of it all. It wasn't logical, and it took me many years of internal work to come to terms with it.

I had to let go of the desire to fit in and embrace the feminine magic that was part of my real experience. This took my career in a completely different direction after 2011.

Did you have any preparations leading up to this "spiritual awakening," or did it happen to you spontaneously without any prior planning?

I began meditating about ten years earlier, establishing a daily meditation practice. A few months before the significant event, I had deepened my meditation practice through a ten-day silent meditation retreat. This retreat involved a lot of internal work, which effectively prepared me for a major breakthrough—a quantum leap in terms of my own perception.

Additionally, I was working with the moon cycle to connect with my own feminine energy. I had been using the moon cycle for several years to tune into my body, feminine cycles, and rhythms. This was essential for me because I had been predominantly engaged in a very masculine, intellectually driven profession, the law. So, I had been gradually working with my feminine energy for many years before this rapid transformation occurred. It was a journey from very slow progress to a sudden, profound change.

What was it like when your Lunar Abundance work catapulted you to social media fame, and how did that transition happen in your journey?

It's interesting when I look back on it. In 2011, Instagram wasn’t a thing. I just started sharing my experiences after the spiritual awakening in March 2011. People instantly showed interest, and I ended up hosting workshops. Keep in mind I was pursuing my PhD at the time; this career change was unexpected.

At first, only a few people attended my workshops—five, then ten, and eventually, fifty. People began asking how they could pay for sessions to receive deeper guidance. In July 2011, I visited Berlin for a mental health law conference where I was presenting my PhD research. During my stay, I met people at a meditation center near my hotel. I found myself talking about moon cycles and doing intuitive readings. Berliners asked, 'Is this what you do for work in Australia?'

That's when I realized that what I was doing could be a career. I had no reference point because I wasn't aware of similar work in Australia at the time. So, I created a website after returning from the conference and started sharing on Facebook. My business grew steadily, and I began a blog, posted on social media, and even wrote a book about moon cycles, planning to publish it on Amazon. As soon as I finished the last sentence, a publisher contacted me, asking me to publish the book. From there, it took off. The book sold 40,000 copies, along with its companion titles. It felt like a magical journey, with people responding positively all around the globe as I shared my truth from the heart.

How did you transition from working with lunar abundance, which encompasses the cycles of life, death, and rebirth, into this new concept of "splinter"??

On one level, it might seem like the magic suddenly faded, but in reality, it was part of the natural cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

Lunar Abundance was all about self-knowledge and personal power. When we work with the moon cycle, we connect with our feminine magic, our cycles, and our creative power for setting intentions. But here's what I lacked, and what the practice didn't address: self-love and self-worth. When all those people started flooding in, I didn't have healthy boundaries. I tried to serve everyone without being grounded in my own healthy self-relationship.

Being in the public eye quickly reveals any weaknesses. I needed to go dark for a while, meaning I had to turn inward and address my own blind spots – self-compassion, self-love, and self-forgiveness.?

The Lunar Abundance book, while magical, initiated a challenging period of self-work. I realized I needed to stop being an overachiever who constantly strived for excellence but also harshly criticized myself. Discovering self-compassion and self-forgiveness in a profound, embodied way led to the rebirth of my current work — The Splinter Work.

Alongside this, I had an abundance of creativity, joy, and social aspects, but I struggled with romantic relationships. Given my background in law addressing domestic violence and sexual assault, I had a history of dealing with the darker side of relationships. I also needed to understand why I attracted partners who weren't available for committed, loving relationship. This led me to identify deep energetic wounds, some from this lifetime and others passed down through ancestral lines.

I found these splinters distorting my thoughts, choices, actions, and behavior in romantic matters. It took humility to recognize I might be self-protecting rather than self-sabotaging – making choices to avoid deeper pain. By removing these splinters through self-compassion and self-forgiveness, I opened myself to a different level of relationships. I applied this process to my clients and various aspects of life.

Can you share more about Splinters and what’s the most exciting thing you’ve learned you’d want others to know?

When I observe someone, I see three energy channels: the power channel (on the right), the love channel (down the center), and the peace channel (on the left). These channels can be pierced or splintered by life experiences, even ancestral ones. In response, we often make what I term an unconscious vow, an adaptation to the way that the piercing has occurred.

For instance, a splinter in your love channel might result from heartbreak in this lifetime. A splinter in the peace channel could be connected to betrayal, and a splinter in the power channel might be linked to feeling victimized. Remember, splinters are external events, never your fault; they're just part of life's interactions.

Emotions often connect to these channels. If your power channel is splintered, you might feel fear or anger when taking action, especially in areas where you've been splintered. A common issue in the power channel is visibility and purpose. Many women fear becoming visible and speaking out, not because they lack the internal capacity to speak, but due to collective and internal patterns, like historical constraints on women's speech.

We can carry these splinters from the collective, often imprinted with fear. As a workaround, we make unconscious vows to avoid these negative consequences. For example, in love, if a woman in our family sacrifices herself and loses her freedom, career, and self-identity for a relationship, it can lead to resistance to entering relationships. Again, none of this is our fault, but these are practical examples of how we can be splintered.

The unconscious vows are decisions we make to avoid these issues altogether, resulting in limiting beliefs. For instance, believing it's impossible to have a fulfilling romantic relationship today due to dating apps or age. These beliefs are symptoms of the underlying splinters — I’ve helped women from their 20s to 60s to date online and create healthy relationships, often for the first time.

To heal, we need to find the root cause of our resistance. Through processes like self-compassion and self-forgiveness, not just intellectually but as a lived felt experience, we can remove the splinters and return to our true state. In this state, energy flows freely.

The power channel carries energy without impediments, the love channel flows smoothly, and the peace channel is unobstructed. This allows us to be open and receptive to what life truly wants to offer.

What’s your hot take or unpopular opinion about the future of love, abundance, and peace?

I believe that humanity is facing challenging times ahead on our planet. There are undoubtedly obstacles on the horizon, icebergs in our path. While the inner work I engage in is deeply spiritual and energetic, it's just one piece of the puzzle. We also need to address structural oppression and tackle some of the most pressing global issues.

However, I see my role as helping individuals, including clients and people I work with, return to a place of open-heartedness and internal coherence. This foundation equips us to actively contribute to a brighter future. My work centers around raising consciousness, which I believe is crucial at this juncture. The planet is at a crossroads, with forces moving in different directions.

My mission is to support the elevation of consciousness so that we can collectively work towards creating a better world.

How can we stay in touch?

You can find me on my website and Instagram. Feel free to send me a direct message. I believe in the transformative power of the feminine, and I think it's what we all need to take a quantum leap forward.

Have thoughts on this week’s topic or question for me or Ezzie? Post your thoughts in the comment section. Until next week.??

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