Finding inspiration in unexpected places

I am a nearly-50-year-old CEO. Serial CEO. Serial start-up CEO.

"Serial start-up CEO" just means that you have to become very used to being punched down. And you have to somehow always find the strength to get back up. You will get knocked down constantly, for example, by investors who will tell you that your business is not good enough for them to invest in. You get punched down by job candidates taking an offer somewhere else. By potential partners telling you that your company is just "too risky" or "too early." The successes that I have had in my life are not because I was smart, or talented or special at all. I know that I have succeeded because I am simply too stubborn to recognize that I am down on the canvas - again - and that any reasonable human would probably just stay down.

As anyone who has faced chronic adversity will attest to, getting up time and again is simply not that easy. In fact, giving up is often the easy way out. Telling yourself that you've tried your best. That it's just not meant to happen. That you are unlucky. That no one expected you to succeed anyway.

Last time I considered giving up something strange happened. Inspiration to get up again came from an unexpected place. For a reason I can't explain, my mind just flew back in time...

It's a Thursday in late October of 2018. Classes just ended for the day. A 16-year-old goes to the bulletin board. His name is not on the starting roster for Friday night. He is tired. He is hurt. He woke up every morning before dawn this week to make it to the gym He did his best to stay up to date with school work. He worked his butt off every day from 3 in the afternoon to way past dusk on the practice field. He made it a point to shut down the leading receiver in the team because he figured that would make him get noticed by the coach. It didn't. Another week is gone, and he ain't starting. He thinks about giving up. Maybe it's not meant to happen. Maybe he has tried his best. No one expects him to succeed.

He sits at the dinner table at home. He doesn't want to be there. He wants to be in bed and just not think about the disappointment: another Friday and he ain't starting. He is down on the canvas, trying to catch his breath and get up and beat the count. Somehow he finds the strength. He goes to the Friday game.

He ended up getting in the game on Friday for a little bit. He made a play. Maybe two. He got a slap on the shoulder and a high five. Good job.

Monday comes around and a decision must be made. Should he get up and go to the gym? Work his butt off again this week. Practice through pain, exhaustion, disappointment. Or should he just give up? Walk away. Maybe it's not meant to happen. Maybe he is just unlucky. Maybe no one expects him to succeed.

But then, he closes his eyes and realizes something: Football makes him happy. Making a play. Being a part of a team. His inspiration comes from within. He feeds on the incredulity of others. He realizes pain, disappointment, exhaustion have tempered him. Made him resilient. Adversity has made him stronger. And most importantly, he won't let his team down.

I fly back home across the country and, at 35,000 ft, I suddenly realize that the thing that I'm most looking forward to is watching that now-17-year-old start tomorrow. To watch all his hard work pay-off. Because watching him reminds me every day that success comes from within. That while, for some people, success can be about getting a lucky draw and being born with smarts, talent and resources, for most of us, it really is just about being too stubborn to give up.

And I know that the next time that I find myself lying on the canvas, mustering the strength to get up, to beat the count, to get my hands back up and to keep on punching, I need only look right there, at the room at the end of the hallway, where my 17-year-old will be sleeping by the time I get home tonight. My inspiration comes from him.