Finding a Forever Home – 5 Things for Military Families to Consider

Military families that are starting the retirement and transition process out of active-duty status have a lot on their minds. I know this because just six short months ago I was one of them.?

Along with all the other things that retirement brings are the questions about setting down more permanent roots. It’s a foreign concept for most military families and it feels overwhelming and even terrifying to have to choose one location. Where are we going to live and is this my forever home?”

After 20 years of expecting to return to my home state of Oregon, it quickly became clear that despite the proximity to family members, Oregon did not maximize the retirement benefits, the retirement opportunities, or the needs of our family.??

The process of coming up with Plan B led me to consider these five things – in fact, I found myself creating a spreadsheet with our top 10 locations and we rated them in the following categories.

Location. Location. Location. – Where do you want to be? Do you love the business of Northern Virginia or prefer the deserts of Arizona? East, west, midwest, southern, beach, mountain, or what about living the life of an ex-pat???

Are you a little bit country or a city slicker? Think about whether you thrive in a quieter rural life or if you need the lights and restaurants and readily available cabs to take you places. Would you rather walk outside and see the big night sky twinkling with stars or do you love the hustle and bustle that big-city life brings? There’s also an in-between of suburbia that puts you close to potentially both opportunities.?

Consider all the places your military life has taken you and pick out the things you loved most about each location. Then, try this exercise: Both you and your spouse write down your preference for location in terms of terrain. Are you both on the same page? I said sunny beach and my spouse said cooler mountains. Ultimately we ended up in the high desert. Get this conversation started early!?

Family Ties – I’ve met some military families that are absolute about their intentions: They will move back “home” to their home of origin to be near family. But that’s not necessarily the best choice for everyone no matter how much you love and miss them. And, what if you and your spouse are from different places? It’s unlikely you’ll be splitting time between two homes. So how do you decide which location wins? If you can’t return to your home of origin and long for that family closeness, you can still make sure you are in a location that will allow you to travel more easily or visit more frequently. If this is one of your top priorities, start with locations that are within reasonable proximity to your hometown to evaluate the reality of living there.

Federal and State Benefits – Taxes, VA hospitals, retirement pay, disability income. All of it needs to be looked at as you settle on a final location. Several resources list benefits to retired and disabled Veterans that cover everything from getting a hunting and fishing license to property taxes, income taxes, and more. One of our top considerations was having a good VA hospital nearby as we continued to sort our medical issues. That one need for our family eliminated nearly half of the locations we considered. For a list of benefits, you can refer to this article by Military.com or check out this article on SpouseLink that gives you a top 5 countdown to the best states to retire in.

Job Opportunities? –Sometimes we don’t get a choice and, after our military transition, we go where a job opportunity requires us to go. Many jobs are now offering remote work opportunities which can open up your location requirements, but not every company has this same ability. Also, remember that 50% of Veterans leave their first job before the first year is over, and up to 80% leave before their second work anniversary. Those are important percentages to think about before fully investing in a new location if the only reason you are there is because of that employment opportunity.

What are your must-haves? –Time to build your wish list. What’s most important to you? Is it the weather? Easy travel? Your children’s school? What is it that makes you happy? You might find that what you want has changed because of the varied and diverse locations that the military sent your family. And that is okay. There’s nothing that says you have to keep the same “forever home” dream you had when you started your military life journey. Remember, nothing has to be forever and, even if you decide on one thing, you can change your mind later.

Finding a forever home is one of the top concerns for transitioning military families. It’s the next step as we start a new type of life — life outside PCS moves and serving in locations that reflect the needs of the military and not the needs of your family.?With your military transition, that all changes and now you get to decide. Ultimately, your forever home is part of the bigger all-around transition plan. Remember that nothing is permanent and give yourself permission to feel different, want different things, and even go against the grain if it’s what you know is best for your family.

I wish you the best of luck in finding your family's forever home!