Finding Communities that Reflect Your Values
It’s so scary to share what you feel and think, even when you have data on your side. Why? Because especially in the digital age, everything you say is forever and if you get one word wrong, there is rarely leniency. That being said, I felt that today’s newsletter needed to be about more than a basic platitude or conversation, when I find myself blankly staring at walls or my laptop crying because the sadness within me, the hopelessness I feel, is like a wave pulling me deeper into the ocean. Lucky for me, I am currently surrounded by a community of people that I can talk to, that I can be vulnerable with and even if our thoughts are varied and dynamic, we agree on a moral level, what is true.
For decades, the Palestinian people have been living under Israeli occupation, facing challenges that demand our attention and empathy. I’m not going to defend my stance in this newsletter because if you want to learn, there is already ample information on how the Israeli government has been ethnically cleansing Palestinians (even before October 7th).
You might ask then, what am I trying to convey in this month's newsletter?
The importance of exploring new communities that provide support and encouragement during especially challenging times.
Richard Millington presented on “Community Everywhere” at CMX, and it’s a topic I have been quite a fan of especially in this boom of social media.
Throughout this month, I have found solace with not just my loved ones, but with those online willing to speak up for a matter they know in their hearts to be true. They have become my community however disperse they may be.
When you open social media and see a gore filled videos – a father holding plastic bags with the parts of his child, news about a 6 year old being stabbed to death by his family’s landlord, and people casually dismissing a whole peoples as collateral damage as a consequence of terrorism – it can place you in a horrible state.
Interestingly enough, I found myself in an odd state of dissonance because the communities I love and participate in did not seem to mirror my reaction (at least not online or out loud). I felt like everyone wanted to be neutral or stand against Palestine because “they deserve it” and suddenly, the communities I have been truly passionate about had failed me.
I had turned to these communities of mine for comfort and connection - my book communities and community communities – but was met with cricket silence aside a few mentions of the matter. If you are in a room full of people, hoping to talk about X, but they all insistently talk about Y, what do you do? I don’t know about you, but I sit in a corner for a bit feeling sorry for myself and then finally find the courage to leave.
This translated to my community experience. I wasn’t getting what I was needing, so I stopped going to my “go-to” spots, and found a new community to meet my needs. I turned towards a new third community, a community that was feeling the way I was feeling, that was crying the same tears I was crying. And even though I feel powerless about so much of what is happening, those shared aches, those shared acknowledgements of how taxing these last few weeks have been has made all the difference in helping me keep pushing, in helping me find the words to articulate my thoughts.
At the end of the day, when you are in a community, you aren’t bound by everything – you may have an overlapping hobby, background, and/or profession, but everything else about you can be different – morals, passion, lifestyle, etc. So that is why you should never feel bound by the communities you already exist in, be open to leaving those spaces (temporarily or permanently) to make space for communities that you feel valued in and find value in.
Never forget the power of community lies in finding those spaces where we can lean on others and feel understood.