Finding the Calm

Have you ever watched a thriller movie that’s suspenseful from start to finish? Have you ever found yourself realizing, maybe halfway through, that you’ve been tense the entire time? Or maybe you realize when the movie is over that you actually feel exhausted? 

Now, if you can, imagine what it might be like to feel this way for an entire day.

Got it?

OK.

Now imagine what it might be like to feel this way all the time.

Welcome to anxiety and OCD.

In my first article, I explained some of the thought processes that come with OCD, and the need for things to feel “just right.” I’ve expanded on that sentiment to go on and talk about some of the habits that my OCD has caused me to do in order to alleviate my anxiety. I’ve shared some of my experiences with therapy, and the intensity of feelingstuck. Something I haven’t really touched on just yet is relaxing.

I suppose it’s appropriate that the topic of relaxation would have eluded me for this long because, in all honesty, relaxing doesn’t come naturally to me in my everyday life. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy relaxing- slipping into sweats, grabbing some comfort food, and curling up with my fiancée and puppy for a day of watching lighthearted TV on Netflix. But still, in many cases, I find it hard to truly relax.

From a physical standpoint, at least as an outsider might see it, I do my fair share of relaxing. I make time to catch up on my DVR, spend time watching a ballgame, and occasionally I’ll take up some casual reading. What’s harder to see, though, is that even in these moments of what might appear to be relaxation, my mind and body are not on the same page.

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