Finding Their Brave

I have been watching my son over the past two weeks…

Over the years, I have often been told by others that this is a brave child, and I have known it to be true from his toddler years.

Not in the “rah-rah”, loud and “out there” way.

He possesses a quiet confidence, asks a hundred questions, tries things out, rethinks failures and understands human emotions at a depth that exceeds most adults I know.

I have watched this “new surfer” take his board, and lie in the back ocean swells for five hours at a time, watching and learning from the professionals, trying, falling, and getting back up - over and over again.

I have watched him walk to the market, all on his own, and buy our daily bread, fruit and vegetables.

I have watched him negotiate with vendors, discuss boat engines with fishmongers, and make friends with strangers.

I have watched his fierce yet kind determination and independent spirit move him beyond any of my expectations.

I have watched him quietly parade his brave.

Here’s the thing…

We don’t raise brave children by teaching them to be “stronger”, by telling them to “man up”, and by forcing them to paddle oceans they aren’t ready for.

Many uninformed people believe that Gentle Parenting raises weak and dependent children. I have observed the complete opposite. We raise brave children by parenting them gently- by parenting with compassion, empathy and kindness.

When a child is raised in fear, they are too scared to venture out, to test the limits, because they’ve always had an adult who’s told them exactly what to do and how to do it.

They have never had an adult who has allowed them the opportunity to think for themselves.

Never allowed them to believe in themselves. Never allowed them to trust themselves.

Our role as parents is not to control our children’s world. It’s not to make their world as safe and easy as possible. We wish we could soften the blows, but we know by now, that’s absolutely not possible.

Our role is to help them to learn how to be brave.

Children will never find their own brave when we aren’t giving them the opportunity to be scared. Fear always precedes bravery.

When faced with a challenging situation, see your child’s fear. Tell them you see it. Don’t dismiss or minimize it. Stand in fear’s presence alongside them. Then, see their courage. And believe in THAT. Believe that their courage will conquer their fear.

Children see themselves through our eyes, and when we see their brave, they are left feeling brave.

“When I can stare at fear and enter its presence regardless, that makes me brave. That makes me resilient”.

Raise your children to believe that they are capable of facing fear.

Raise them to know that you stand alongside them through it.

Then watch them begin to trust themselves. Watch in awe as they find their brave.

In my son’s younger years, I stood with him as he clung onto my knee, and then as he faced his fears… I saw his courage and reminded him of it.

Now, I stand back, and I proudly watch his brave.

With love from a proud mamma and gentle parenting advocate,

Naomi ??

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PS. I wrote this during a warm-hearted mom moment on the beach a few days ago but wasn’t planning to post it. I mentioned to my son how proud I was of his “brave” and told him I had even written a blog on it. He asked me to read it to him. Once I had, he said to me, “Mom, post it. Other parents need to hear about this”.

So here it is… If you want to know more about Gentle Parenting, the science behind it and how from a neurological and developmental perspective, it’s the best way to raise resilient and confident children, you can click here to sign up for this 5-part introductory course.

I can’t wait for you to experience the freedom and enjoyment (Yes! Enjoyment!) within Gentle Parenting. ??