Finding A Balance... It can be done!

Finding a balance in a working family can be awe inspiring!  We juggle conference calls, parent teacher conferences, the commute, book reports, work deadlines, math homework, work trips, Cub Scouts, night meetings, birthday parties, laundry, mowing lawn, shoveling and we manage to do it all.  How I don't know!

It is indeed a fast paced world we live in.  If you are in the Becker household on a weekday morning it is a well choreographed routine.  Kids up, dressed, fed and teeth brushed, then we are out the door. (we are commuters)  We all know the exit time, and it is a steadfast unwritten rule.  We never miss our "leave time".  Time is one resource we all value,  that is for sure.  We make this happen every morning and most days it is right on time.  Did I mention I would not trade any of this for the world!

The more I hear about working families I wanted to write about this balancing act because I see so many families doing it.   It has become a way of life for many.   I marvel when I see a family do this with ease and I must say am a little jealous, then I stop and think about how their morning might have went.  I am guessing it was quite similar to ours.  Spilled milk, just can't find the right shirt,you know the routine.    

My wife and I have 2 amazing boys, 5 and 8 and it is not always easy to bring this production together daily, but we do it.  I find myself telling my wife quite frequently we are not unlike most families.  With both my wife and I busy with careers it can be tough but then I think of those families with 4 children, I marvel at them!  

I have found that quality time doesn't need to be on a beach or at a water park, but rather is that precious time on the way to school when my son and I talk about our day and what fun the weekend holds, or his excitement to see his buddies that day.  That is about a 10 minute trip and I cherish it daily.   We also make time for dinner most nights, not every night but most nights.   We do highs and lows and talk about the day.  We hear about what made us laugh and sometimes what even made us cry but that's what it is all about right?  Oh and yes throw in that little boy humor.  I have heard more fart jokes than I care to admit.  

 The more I think about it and ponder our daily, weekly routine, I have come up with one answer.  There is no perfect balance!   I hear people talk about work life balance all the time.  I now believe it is truly making the moments count when they matter most.  Take time to be home when your child is sick, be there for the birthday parties, play catch, read together, go swimming, I could go on for pages.  These moments add up over the years into great memories.  

I also think a working family has very teachable moments about real life commitments and responsibilities that children need to learn are a part of life.  For me it was seeing my father leave for a week at a time to be an over the road truck driver for much of his life. I knew he had to do this to put food on the table.  He did not want to be away but did it for his family.   Both my wife and I are blessed with the fact we love our jobs and get to help others through the work we do.  My wife a teacher and myself work for the American Diabetes Association.  There is something about hearing your son proudly tell his friend  "My mom's a teacher" or "My dad works for diabetes" as Bennett says.  The other day my son, Evan,  asked me if I found a cure for diabetes so his friend wouldn't have to take shots.   That was one of my proudest moments as a dad and a defining moment for me being so proud of my career path.  The point of the story is they notice what you do and how you do it.  Never think they don't!

If I had to sum  this up into 5 key points on how to find this balance I would say this...(first what ever 5 points work for you are the right ones.)

1.  Take the little moments when they come your way.  They add up into wonderful memories! 

2.  Be silly together as a family.  Your kids love it and will remember it forever.    ( I recommend the book with no pictures.)

3.  Quality time is much better than the quantity of time.  We all get busy and can feel guilty but it truly is the quality that matters.

4.  Teach them truly what matters, and that is not checking your cell phone.(I am guilty of this one too.)

5.  Be a team, you need each other.  Kids will be sick and there will be snow days and they will happen on your busiest days!

I know I said 5 but this is truly #1   Make moments matter!

Be Silly they love it!