Find Your Yes

Sometimes we feel we need to have all the details in place before we take a leap and change something in our lives. Part of us needs to ensure that everything is “perfect” on the other side before we leave the old job, the old home, the old relationship for the new job, the new home, the new relationship. It’s normal, it’s survival-based. However, I have a secret… Life doesn’t really work that way.

Now, “All the details” equals a different benchmark, check list and feeling for everyone. However, we can choke ourselves complicating things, often without realising (and usually without wanting to either, stressing and turning ourselves inside out as a result). Trying to have everything in place in our new world before taking the leap, leaves room for constant doubt and fear, waves of insecurity that throw us back like an angry sea, looking for faults in others, letting ourselves be influenced by doubts and manipulations of others or the classic “What will people say?”, seeking and creating reasons for it not to work or be right, and in this way stopping ourselves from moving forward into that which we deeply desire.

At some point, you either commit fully to the new world and deal with the process of change and let go of the old one, or you stay stuck in your old world and the pain that goes along with it. You could choose to remain comfortably numb, but once you’ve tasted the change of what your heart truly desires there really is no going back, it’s just a matter of pace and universal interventions. You can try, but the pain of the old world only grows, and then what are you teaching your loved ones — to remain in a grey life when your heart has seen the splendour of colours and tasted a better world?

When you really listen to your heart and what it is asking, you will find your truth about the desired change. There’s your strength to encompass anything that comes along. Because you feel and know in its entirety that it will be more of what you seek than what the old world has to offer you.

Everyone’s process of change may be different, and that’s fine. And I’m not usually so “binary,” but having gone through several iterations of this in my life, it comes down to this simplicity:

You want it or you don’t want it.

You love or you don’t love.

You do or you don’t.

You’re in or your out.

(one can always choose to go from one to the other — and some people incessantly do so until they exhaust themselves and stay out, or they finally reach that tipping point of personal commitment and stay in — remember that negative thoughts influence our capacity or sense of wanting, loving, doing, and presence)

Once you’re clear and resolve to commit to what you want (your Yes), everything else is just details and re-organising yourself to meet that position, place or person you’ve been asking for. And my goodness those moments can be scary AF. But I can guarantee you the best things in my life have come from the biggest inspired leaps I ever took in life, love and creativity. All I needed was my own Yes in my heart and off I went. Find your Yes and go for it. You’ll clear your path sooner of the other stuff that’s been holding you back than if you poke your toes in it and “try”.

You may already have your Yes (you know, that wonderful feeling that makes your heart and soul light up), but you fell back into an old pattern of fear. Simply come back to your heart of hearts and push aside the other thoughts that get in the way of your Yes, like pushing away the curtains to let the radiant sun shine in through your window and fill up your room. That room is your heart, your soul, your dreams.

When you have your Yes, set your sails and head off in its direction.

You’ve got this, and I’ve got your back.

Originally published on Medium.