Find Your Tribe

I was messaging with a beautiful friend the other night, and we were sharing how we have both lost or become distant with so many people – particularly over the past three years.

There’s a growing conversation on social media about "finding your tribe", as well as consciously freeing ourselves from friends and family who don’t get us, who treat us wrong, who disagree, or who simply disappear.

For a while, I bought into ‘finding my tribe’ mainly because, like so many of us, I had felt so different from everyone around me. I simply couldn’t fit in and felt so desperately alone for most of my life. And so, finding people who felt the same way, who’d experienced similar journeys, who’d felt isolated, who had this deep knowing that something was wrong with the world around us – all of this was a glorious revelation! Finally, I felt a sense of belonging among a growing group of fabulous ‘misfits’ all doing our best to make sense of our lives.

Over recent times, I’ve changed my description from ‘tribe’ to ‘vibe’. Here’s why...

I’ve felt that the sense of tribal, while being inclusive for members of the tribe, can ultimately serve to divide us further. Different tribes, different cultures, different beliefs can (and often do) result in arguments or even wars. There becomes a focus on ‘the others’ and a deepening of separation.

So this is the way I see it today. We’re all of us in this together. We are humanity. We are the ones who are here to be the change we choose to see in the world. And the way to do this is to explore the statement “there are no others”.

How on earth do we do this when there appears to be so much chaos? How can we possibly move together as one with so many contradicting opinions and behaviours? How can we be peaceful and loving when there is so much pain? Surely this notion is just more love-and-light-wafty-bollocks-woo-woo hippy nonsense?

Well, yes – and no.

I’m not for one moment suggesting we turn a blind eye, or shut up and put up with the darkness in the world. Quite the contrary.

I’m saying that when we find our vibe (honour who we are and how we feel inside) we feel supported, safe and uplifted to stand up and be counted – and to darned well make a difference, whatever role we’re here to fulfil.

Tribes tend to be tribes. Vibes can change and become fluid. So can people. And situations.

For example, there are people I used to love and know as dear friends who are now nowhere to be seen.

Another way to put it, there was a time when I couldn’t stand certain foods or drink. Ask me to eat spinach as a child I’d close my mouth firmly and refuse – these days I find spinach absolutely delicious! The spinach hasn’t changed, my tastes have.

Equally, I can look at my relationship with alcohol. I used to love a good few glasses of wine and would regularly over-indulge. Now I’m teetotal and simply can’t understand what I used to see in it. Do you get what I mean?

Back to the vibes, and the notion 'there are no others'. We are all of us growing. All of us transforming. None of us are going to do it in the same way, all of us have our own journey to travel. The key, for me, is to do it in the most peaceful, supportive, connected and loving way possible.

So, I’m now imagining all of us as a unique part of the most glorious mosaic. I’m realising that the ones who may no longer be physically close with me, are simply gathering together with colours and shapes that echo and complement their current vibe. And while we may feel miles away, even on different planets, each one of us is here honouring our unique vibe, surrounding ourselves with similar vibes in order to create the bigger picture masterpiece.

A picture paints a thousand words? Zoom in on this piece I found on Google. Close up it’s a series of photographs. Different people. Different situations. Each showing as a separate entity. Some completely 'divorced' from others. And yet, zoomed back out again, the whole image is one of peace and unity.

And I'm grateful??<3 ?