Find your Purpose - to find your Happiness

There is a Chinese saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”

?We all know of the immense contributions of Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Sindhutai Sapkal and the like.

Robin Hood army, a group of volunteers who started by gathering left- over food from restaurants and eateries to distribute to the needy has become a world-wide. By now,?they have served close to 99.5 million people spanning 360 cities in 13 countries.?

?These are just a few names out of hundreds who have lived the life of service.?

?There’s a doctor in my neighborhood who spends her evenings teaching poor children, there’s a college kid who organizes a clean-up drive every saturday, there are these young men who help out at an old-age home everyday before work…..

All around us, in our routine, daily lives, we find people who take out the time and resources to serve others. Is it that these people have more time and resources than the rest of us? While some might come from very privileged backgrounds, they make an effort to serve and contribute. The pandemic had people from all walks of life coming together for the greater good. Some people serve through donating money, some through contributing their time and some do both.?

The bottom line is people love to serve and make the world a better, happier place. And the natural question that stems from here is - why do they do that? What is it that they get by giving and serving others? What need is getting fulfilled ? What has made the Robin Hood Army such a global organization? Why do people join NGOs and organizations to serve others?.

We all love to be in service of humanity, God or faith because it makes us feel useful. It makes us have a purpose and gives our lives some meaning.

I, for one, serve others because it makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel that I’m making a difference and that adds to my sense of worth. That in turn ‘ups’ my happiness quotient?

Serving others has a lot of associated benefits as well. The focus shifts from ‘self’to ‘others’ and our problems seem to fade away. We become parts of a community and our sense of belonging is enhanced. We learn and grow while serving others.

Apart from this feeling of fulfilment, there is a high, known as the ‘helper’s high’ which we get when we help someone. Jason Silva calls this the neurobiology of helping others.” Neuroscience shows that the more we give, the more pathways we create for greater personal joy. When we help others, we impact our brains in many positive ways. When we help others, our brains starts to release oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin. These‘ feel good’ hormones boost our mood and also help in counteracting the effect of cortisol (the stress hormone).

In a study conducted on ‘Neurobiology of giving Vs receiving’ (by Psychosomatic medicine, the journal of Behavioral Medicine), the brain images showed than when a participant was giving support( as opposed to receiving), certain brain areas were more activated. There were: 1) reduced stress-related activity seen in the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex, and right amygdala, 2) greater reward-related activity was seen in the left and right ventral striatum and 3) greater caregiving-type activity.

In short, from an evolutionary perspective, our brains are hardwired to feel rewarded more for selflessness & magnanimity than for meanness & selfishness.

Its important that we pick goals that are aligned with what we really value. According to Sonja Lyubomirsky “authentic goals” are an important prerequisite to lasting fulfillment and hence, happiness. She describes this?in ‘The How of Happiness’ We should get some form of ‘pleasure ‘ from the goals we select.Perhaps the courses and exams that are in the medical school don’t bring joy, but what they lead to, i.e being able to provide good healthcare to others does.?

?Now, as mentioned earlier, it’s been found that

Pleasure+ enagement+meaning =Happiness

?And meaning or purpose or fulfilment makes for lasting happiness. So, lets explore this aspect for ourselves now

1.???I’m going to ask you to close your eyes for a moment and think – Making others happy, what does it do for you? Whatever your answer- write it down

2.???When we are of service to others, it makes us feel that we matter. Giving of ourselves actually makes us feel good about ourselves.

So, think –

How are you contributing currently? How much is ‘contribution’ playing up in our lives? (Contribution could be to the society, to the world, to people around you – for the greater good of the world.)

Would you like to do more?

?The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. — Mahatma Gandhi

???I’m going to leave you with another thought – most of us experience happiness when we feel productive. Productivity gives us purpose. We have goals to achieve and it gives us something to look forward to. Striving towards something makes us feel alive and full of energy - and when we tick off our to-do lists(whether mental or physical), our self-esteem shoots. All these add up to our finding ‘meaning’ in our lives.

So, time to think and write again

• What actions, thoughts and behaviors make you more productive at work? Write down these thoughts, actions and behaviors – and commit to doing them regularly for a week. Observe as your happiness/ fulfillment levels go up.?
• A good way to check is to keep a track of work completed and the feeling generated regularly. This can, then, be a visual evidence of your satisfaction/ fulfillment levels’

This excerpt is from my book - How to 'Happy' -https://rb.gy/hfwnfz

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