Find Your Own Safe Space

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Marshall Goldsmith, the world’s leading executive coach and best-selling author, speaks of the concept of being on stage, that is, always being upbeat. It is true for coaches with their clients as well as for executives being coached. We know how to put up a good front. As business people, this is fine; it is standard practice among professionals.

Isolation

At the same time, if we keep our vulnerability bottled inside and tell no one, we induce isolation. We cut ourselves off from sources of comfort, solace and counsel. We gradually withdraw into a kind of shelter of our own making. We may trick ourselves into believing we are protecting ourselves when in reality, we may be imprisoning our true selves.

My colleague Terry Jackson Ph.D., a change management consultant and executive coach, likes to say that we all need hope. Hope is foundational to our ability to look beyond our present circumstances. Without hope, there is only darkness. With hope, there can be light, even if it too may not be as bright as we would like it. If we shelter our inner selves from others too much, we also rob ourselves of finding hope, the kind that comes from knowing that we are not alone.

It is not easy to reveal one’s vulnerabilities. What is required is trust and bravery. You need to trust the person with whom you share your story. And you need to be brave about what you will share. 

Be of service

This sharing is an opportunity for others to serve us. As Terry Jackson says, service is our true purpose. While we think of helping others, we can expect the same from others. Give them a chance to serve us. In time we can do the same. Service enables us to fulfill the needs of others and at the same time fulfill our purpose.

And so, we must find our own safe places to be ourselves, openly, honestly, and hopefully.

Adapted from Forbes.com first posted on 3/17/2021

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Dr. Paul L. Corona

Coaching successful leaders to true fulfillment

3 年

I love this, John Baldoni and Terence Jackson, Ph.D., especially the idea that we can be of the greatest service to others by first being vulnerable with our own stories (because that helps them trust us).

Chester Elton

Executive Coach | Keynote Speaker | Culture as a Competitive Advantage. I teach leaders how to build high-performing teams in a rapidly changing world

3 年

Service is our true purpose. I love that!

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