FIND YOUR 'KES'

Ken Loach's film Kes was released in 1969. It is a simple story told stunningly well. 

Set in a bleak North Yorkshire, young Billy Casper is an ordinary boy that suffers abuse and ridicule both at school and at home. 

But when Billy finds a kestrel on a nearby farm things change for him. The boy and the bird bond and Billy finds a true purpose in his otherwise ramshackle existence. 

Being Billy

As Billy's story unfolds there are still numerous challenges. 

Billy never really fitted in anyway and his close relationship with a kestrel made him all the more conspicuous and unusual. 

But Billy couldn't help himself. He had to do what he was compelled to do, no matter what others said or did. 

All Billy could do was to be Billy.

Letting Love Happen

I don't really understand love.

That's probably why I shied away from it for all of my teens, 20's and most of my 30's.

It is a scary concept because it is the catalyst for irrational behaviours and decision making, guttural responses, maverick and unpredictable behaviours and unexplainable experiences and unplanned and frighteningly emotional journeys. It exposes you, there is no control and you are putting your future in the hands others so that they can shape who you are and what you become.

In my early years I was terrified of all of the above and avoided it at all costs.

I now crave it in my life above all else.

Loving Wholeheartedly

Doing what you love wholeheartedly* demands that you unlearn so much.

You have to embrace the bumps in the road and the things that go wrong, being grateful that they happened so you can avoid them (and help others to avoid them) in the future.

You have to thank people for their criticisms and learn which criticisms to learn from and which ones to dismiss because they are more about the critic than you.

And you have to stop worrying that you are not perfect or in some areas even competent because, well, you're not perfect and there is nothing you can do about it. Worrying about how and when you might mess up is like walking around with an umbrella up all the time, waiting for it to rain. Of course it's going to bloody rain and of course you are going to mess up or be exposed as being less good at this or that than you thought you were. That's life. You're flawed. But don't wander around in anticipation of rain, thinking the worst of everyone and everything and planning your next defence or silly excuse. It'll turn you into Donald Fucking Trump (I think that's his middle name. I'll check my sources).

*Wholeheartedly. Please have a think about this word. I think we say it without thinking properly about what it means. It is rare that I do something wholeheartedly because it requires a tunnel vision, a determination, a passion and an emotional investment that shuts everything else out. And that's hard. But I would encourage you (and me) to try harder to do more things with the whole of our heart. When it works out we will feel things in such rich and meaningful ways. And when it does not work out, we will recover.

Finding Your Kes

This month, the AWR team is Creatively Directing and executing a photoshoot in the North of England that pays homage to Ken Loach's film.

There is only one photographer I know that can do this and that is Dan Prince. You will know why when you see Dan's work.

And there is only one man that can cast Billy.

John Kirtley was born to work with birds of prey, so that is what he does. In fact, that is what he is.

His son Ayden will be Billy.

The AWR Collection, our Bandage knit red and black 100% Merino Wool Scarves, Our 100% cashmere scarves and beanies, our merino wool slouchy socks and our hand made bridle leather and solid brass or solid pewter belts will all discretely feature.

Life Is Always About What You Do Next

Billy found Kes.

But this was where the story started, not where the story ended.

He found something that he loved. He didn't understand how or why he loved, he just knew that he loved.

He was braver than you or I because he ignored the fact that his gushing of emotion for a kestrel would intensify his abuse, his bullying and his ridicule.

He just went with what he felt with the whole of his heart.

And that brings me back to why I make the connection between Kes and AWR.

This film reminds me of me, us and of you.

AWR believe that confidence can be created and that for the confident - anything is possible. We believe that we can find the confidence inside us to do and to be whatever we want and to do whatever we want.

And that includes letting it be known that is we love kestrels, hate prejudice, have a flair for creating decorative cushions or that we really should be living life as a different gender to the one we were born into.

Addressing any of these things wholeheartedly takes confidence.

I am upset that so many people do not reach their potential or do what makes them truly happy because they worry about what others think, about being exposed or about failing. 

Life is so very short. If you want to do it, do it. 

I'd encourage you to follow your dreams and to do whatever it its that makes you happy and, very importantly, what keeps you unique.

The world is full of cowardly, jealous and insecure people that will try to stop you in the most awful ways, projecting what they hate about themselves onto you. This happens in Ken Loche's film in the most terrible way at the very end.

But I do like to think that whatever Billy did next, he did it using his love of his kestrel as a lesson.

Unlike his brother, Billy Casper loved wholeheartedly once.

And knowing what that is like he is very likely to have done it again.