Find Your Devil's Advocate

“A wise person once told me that at some point, you’re going to have to say no to things you want, and it doesn’t need to be first past the post that stays.”

As we walked along the trail by the river, my friend Tereska’s words hit me hard. I had done the math. The opportunity I was offered would be too many hours based on what I was already committed to. As much as it felt like THE opportunity, I just couldn’t see how I could make it work.

She pressed on.

“You’ve been talking for months about the parts of your business that aren’t working for you. This sounds like exactly what you want to be doing. So…?”

We hashed out the different parts of Shine+ that I can hand off or put on pause. I talked about the people I would be working with, the possible ways I can balance this new opportunity with a Master’s degree, plus my coaching and facilitation work. I felt myself soften, the excitement I’d been pushing down bubbling up. I had been so convinced I had to do things the way I’ve been doing them. But…

• I can hire people I trust to take over the parts of the business I don’t enjoy doing myself
• I can focus on the things I love the most and postpone the things that aren’t for now
• I can step into the spaces where I bring the most value
• I can get clear on which opportunities feel the most alive rather than hanging onto things that frankly feel like a slog

So yeah… I’m a coach: my job is to see other people’s blindspots. And just like everyone else, I can’t see my own.

When I’m in it—and I’ll be honest, these past couple of weeks I’ve been in it—I also struggle to see the forest for the trees. That’s why having trusted friends and mentors (and coaches!) is so valuable. If you don’t have people in your life who will play devil’s advocate and challenge your thinking, you’re going to miss out on opportunities.

My suggestion? Take some time to get clear on what’s in and what’s out in your life. Notice what feels good in your body versus what feels tight or hard. If you’re doing things you don’t want to, get curious about how you can delegate, dump or do them differently. Ask someone who has distance from your day-to-day what opportunities they see for you or feedback they have for you. You may be pleasantly surprised at how much fun and ease comes in when you’re focusing your energy on what’s most aligned.

Also… big changes in my life this week! I completed the first intensive weekend for my Master’s program, accepted an offer to join the founding team of a startup I’m super exited about and I’m currently on the train going to meet my family for our summer vacation in the Thousand Islands. There are also big shifts coming for Shine+ and we’re super excited about them!

A few thing to note:

• If you want to join the Thrive: Entrepreneur Peer Group, we’re shifting to a monthly format starting on September 25. Apply to join us
• There are still a few spots open for the Connect Conscious Leadership retreat on September 14-15. Grab your spot!

I wish you a beautiful month!

Love always,

LJ

P.S. Turns out the wise person Tereska mentioned was none other than Zoe Currelly, another wonderful member of the Shine+ community