Find Valued Interaction in the Most Difficult Situations

I wanted to talk about the Drama Triangle and how it relates to resiliency.? Resiliency is the ability to persevere despite adversity and stress. A lot of ways we look at resiliency is through the perspective we take on the stressors we experience.? The Drama Triangle, keeps us trapped in a perspective of despair and implicitly bringing others into our suffering. ?In fact, the Drama Triangle recapitulated despair is so engrained that we often seek out relationships towards others who are also occupying the triangle.? The Karpman Drama Triangle is a psychological model that describes the dynamics of dysfunctional relationships and interpersonal conflicts. It was developed by Stephen Karpman in the 1960s and has since been widely used in therapy, counseling, and organizational development to understand and address unhealthy patterns of interaction. Understanding this triangle and the negative dynamics it elicits, will help to build resiliency through grounding ourselves and getting out of this suffering.

The triangle consists of three roles: the Victim, the Rescuer, and the Persecutor. Individuals may switch between these roles in different situations, perpetuating a cycle of conflict and dysfunction. Here's a brief overview of each role and strategies for getting out of them:

1.???? Victim: The Victim feels powerless, oppressed, or helpless in a situation. They often blame external circumstances or other people for their problems, and they may seek sympathy or support from others. However, they may also use their perceived victimhood to manipulate others or avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

To get out of the Victim role, individuals need to recognize their own agency and ability to make choices. This involves taking responsibility for their own feelings and actions, rather than attributing them solely to external factors. Developing resilience and assertiveness can help individuals assert themselves and take control of their lives.

2.???? Rescuer: The Rescuer feels compelled to save or help others, often at the expense of their own well-being. They may offer unsolicited advice, assistance, or emotional support to those they perceive as Victims. While their intentions may be altruistic, Rescuers may also derive a sense of self-worth from their role, and they may inadvertently perpetuate the Victim's dependency.

To break free from the Rescuer role, individuals need to establish healthy boundaries and prioritize self-care. This involves recognizing that they cannot fix other people's problems or rescue them from their difficulties. Instead, they can offer support in a way that empowers others to take responsibility for their own lives and solve their own problems.

3.???? Persecutor: The Persecutor adopts a critical, blaming, or controlling stance towards others. They may be perceived as aggressors or antagonists, and they may use intimidation, manipulation, or coercion to assert their dominance. Persecutors often justify their behavior by framing themselves as superior or righteous, and they may target individuals they perceive as weak or vulnerable.

To step out of the Persecutor role, individuals need to develop empathy and compassion towards others. This involves recognizing the impact of their words and actions on others and taking responsibility for their behavior. Learning to communicate assertively rather than aggressively can help individuals express their needs and concerns without resorting to blame or criticism.? Build this triangle and list how you represent each part. Use this as a cue to find moments to ground and build to a stable place.

?

Think about your most stressful interactions.? Decide who is in the triangle, what role are the playing and what role are you being asked to play.? Find a grounded state and build resiliency through finding a boundary rooted in a valid data point.? Stick to your boundary, the other person in the relationship will be forced to either ground as well and realize the continued drama is not working for them or find someone else to racpitulate the pain.