Find a friend who would stand by you when hundreds are against you

There are hundreds or thousands of contacts in your Phone number list and your connections on LinkedIn and your friends on Facebook or Instagram, however just think about it how many of them would be able to be by your side when you need them badly. In this virtual world we are living in, we have daily interactions with thousands of people online and some of them become our regular contacts and we share our views and ideas with them over chats and posts and articles and they post their likes, comments and share our posts with their network.

But then that is the end of the story as far as our online friends are concerned. They have their own lives to live and problems to resolve and therefore they are available to you only when they feel like and when they are online and they have some free time to check their Whatsapp or other social media apps day in and day out.

When you reach out to people and open up we need to do it very cautiously, but you have to do it slowly and steadily if you are to find that person or persons who will be your buddy! You probably already have a few and just need to talk with them to find out how much they are there available for you and if they really will stand by you...who are they? and how many are they in reality? Some may be located geographically in different time zones and different continents as well.

Who are your real close ones whom you can confide everything? Your spouse, or your Mum and/or dad, your in-laws, your friend in the neighbourhood, your priest or a counsellor, your mentor or Guru, elders in the family, cousin brothers and sisters, your immediate next door neighbours, your school /college friends, your social network of friends in the locality you live in, your community people whom you meet or interact regularly, members of your housing complex or society, your sports club or social club members, your spouse's friends and relatives and so on all those somebodies you consider wise and sage in approach.

If it's none of the above, you have to ask yourself if maybe the problem is not with you, in the sense that you are too closed, isolated and separate to let anybody in, and be able to allow somebody to come into your world. If this is the case, chose among the above and let go, talk and express your innermost feelings and see how it goes. There are good people out there who are surely open to stand by you, if you only let them in!

You need to always stay open. Make a strong friendship first and observe if this person is there for you. One needs to know who to confide in and, do not talk too often or be mindful of what you say to a trusted person. I would recommend that you know a person well before you speak about your life issues.

My advice to those concerned who consider close to you if they are not, then obviously keep them at a distance. If they ask what is wrong, without meaning to insult, you can tell them you’re looking for something more solid in a friend. They will either come around or ignore you. Either way you’ve either gained someone wonderful or still have room to find someone who is going to be your bestie or best buddy.

Depending on the person’s personality it might be more challenging to quickly detect if someone likes you but it gets easier to see and confirm someone’s interest as time progresses and with consistent acts. They spend more time with you on purpose. They intentionally seek your presence and find reasons to be around you more frequently. They even go as far as making excuses to see you. They also makes plans to see you and when they see you they usually have a hard time walking away or leaving you.

A love crush of mine used to come by my office when we worked in the same department and had shared responsibilities on certain assignments and he would wait for me on numerous occasions after we had completed our days of work and walk me out of work. Basically they want to spend time with you as much as possible. But then it becomes totally conditional love relationship. They involve you in future plans/activities and discuss the future with you. They will bring up a lot future plans and goals they have.

They’ll involve you in questions regarding the future like “could we have a joint account together for spending life” they use ‘we’ and ‘us’ when mentioning matters of the future. And importantly they discuss their more serious desires regarding their future, their goals and aspirations and find ways to ask you also about your future to see how best your futures can align. As if planning already to see how best your lives can be synced. One significant point to note they ask a lot of questions about the future and to see if your future lives align most times this is done unconsciously/unintentionally as well.

They volunteer to do things for you, they want to teach you how to do things. Whatever things you say you want to get done in your life they quickly offer to help you do it and want to offer resources to you to help you accomplish whatever task you mention. They want to get your opinion on decisions they have to make and are interested in knowing that you are in cooperation with their choices. Like subtlety requesting your consent and approval. They stand by you through rough times. They defend you and support you and even if you are in the wrong they stick with you and tell you the truth but don’t dismiss you but encourages you.

They strike up conversations with you purposefully and if you both happen to start a conversation you can test this theory by keeping silent after the conversation starts and observe that this person starts up on a new topic or is interested to keep the conversation going by continuing to talk. This point is even more relevant and true for persons who are not talkers. I had a love interest who was super quiet among others but when he got around me he spoke so much. It’s like he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to tell me everything all at once.

They smile a lot in your presence and even over the simplest of things. Basically they enjoy your presence and overall their body is more relaxed in your presence. They are more comfortable with you and conversation might be lighter. The conversations take a different tangent and more personal topics are explored. Especially with shy persons and people who are very private, if suddenly this person starts to delve into more personal information about their lives this can also be a highlight they are growing to trust you and find you interesting enough to open up to you in a deeper way. They are the ones then you can call as best buddies whom you can share everything what you want to. Stay blessed ! #kishoreshintre