The Financial Part of Caregiving

Taking over your parents' finances due to dementia can be a challenging and sensitive process. My mom did not want my help at first. I introduced her to paying her bills online, which she loved. And then, one day, she just couldn't figure out how to transfer the money. Then, I had to take over her banking activities, and it occurred to me I would need some legal paperwork. It's important to approach this situation with care, respect, and legal guidance. Here are the steps you should consider:

1. Consult with an Attorney: Start by consulting with an attorney who specializes in elder law or estate planning. They can help you understand the legal requirements and options available in your jurisdiction for managing your parent's finances. And be prepared to spend about $500 an hour to talk to them. They can do Medicaid paperwork, too. I made several appointments, but I never went that route.
2. Obtain a Diagnosis: Ensure that your parent has an official diagnosis of dementia from a medical professional. This will be crucial for legal and financial decisions. My mom was diagnosed officially in 2020. However, I noticed something was off in 2017.
3. Power of Attorney (POA):

• If your parent still needs to designate a durable power of attorney for finances while they are still legally competent, it may be necessary to pursue guardianship or conservatorship. This process involves a court determining that your parent can no longer make financial decisions and appointing you or someone else as a legal guardian or conservator. This is a complex legal process; you may want an attorney to guide you. I used software online because my mom only has a few assets, and the instructions are relatively thorough. If you do your taxes online, you can draw up this paperwork. With dementia or Alzheimer's, sooner is better.
• If a POA is already in place, you must confirm its validity and activate it. This document allows you to make financial decisions on your parent's behalf. In Missouri, you need two witnesses and a notary.

1. Identify and Document Assets and Debts: Make a comprehensive list of your parent's assets (e.g., bank accounts, investments, real estate) and debts (e.g., mortgages, credit cards, loans). Gather all relevant financial documents.
2. Manage Financial Accounts:

• Open a separate bank account for your parent's finances if necessary.
• Review and monitor your parent's accounts regularly to ensure bills are paid and there are no unusual transactions. I have monitored my mom's credit for years because people prey on the elderly. She routinely signed up for things that she assumed were a one-time expenditure that turned out to be a subscription - $99 a month for some face cream and stuff like that.?It took forever for me to find and cancel all of the terrible subscriptions.

1. Create a Budget: Develop a budget to manage your parent's financial affairs. This should include income, expenses, and savings or investments.
2. Healthcare Proxy and Living Will: If your parent still needs to do so, consider establishing a healthcare proxy and a living will to address their medical decisions and end-of-life preferences.
3. Beneficiary Designations: Ensure that your parent's beneficiaries are up-to-date on life insurance policies, retirement accounts, and other assets.
4. Long-Term Care Planning: If your parent hasn't already planned for long-term care, consult with a financial advisor to explore options such as Medicaid planning, long-term care insurance, or using their assets to pay for care. Know your state's Medicaid rules. It's a long and arduous process, and let's be clear - beds are hard to find. If you think your loved one may be on Medicaid at any point, start looking as soon as possible. Most of these places you see being built are PRIVATE PAY ONLY.
5. Keep Detailed Records: Maintain precise records of all financial transactions and decisions made on behalf of your parent. This documentation will be essential for legal and tax purposes.
6. Social Services and Support Groups: Seek out local support groups and resources for caregivers of individuals with dementia. These groups can provide valuable emotional support and practical advice.
7. Regularly Review and Update: Dementia is a progressive condition, and your parent's financial situation and needs may change over time. Please look over and update your financial plan accordingly.?

Remember that each situation is unique, and the steps you need to take may vary depending on your specific circumstances and your local legal requirements. Consulting with professionals, such as attorneys and financial advisors, is crucial in ensuring you follow the appropriate legal and financial protocols when taking over your parent's finances due to dementia. But know that your loved one may not want to talk about it. Know that they will be embarrassed and frustrated that they can't take care of themselves. You have to be persistent and patient. Stay the course!