FINALLY, I GIVE UP

? Most of the time people around me facing certain challenges, do reach out to me for moral support. I try my best to make them feel strong. I do tell them it will be okay; we are in this together. I thought by doing that I really was offering much help. Recently I realized that I was wrong. You don’t feel the real pain or burden until it is happening to you and not someone else. The potential of overcoming all of this is entirely in the hands of the person going through a rough time. Hope may be given to him but surely, even if this hope is not given to him, he is capable of holding it together and emerging on the other side if indeed he has the potential in him. If something is meant to happen, it just happens despite all the interventions put in place. If someone does not have the potential to overcome something spiritually, mentally, and physically, there is nothing more someone else can do for him.

?I can’t count how many times I have failed in my life. Nothing in my life has been achieved easily. Not because am a bad person or I am lazy. It just happens because it is planned. Most of us try to change our future and think that we have succeeded. Our future is intact. The only thing we do is try to change paths. When you get to an easier path you think that you have changed your life but not, your destiny is still the same. Do you think your maker hadn’t already planned your life before you were conceived in your mother’s womb? Why do struggle to change this plan that was planned thousands of years ago. The worst thing you can ever think is that you are a hero. A hero of who? Your country? your people, your family? What would you get after being a hero and as I remember most heroes die prematurely. Other people got to enjoy your success and sacrifice while you rote in the grave. Play nice, live in the moment and when your time has come, die and go to paradise or hell. After we are dead is when we actually know where we will be taken.

Don’t waste your time trying to say am doing this for my organization or am doing this for the love of my life. So, you want me to sacrifice so that another person may enjoy life? I cannot. We are given equal chance of life when we are born. Why do my life have to be less important than others so that I decide to sacrifice it and those with important lives continue to living? Don’t ever sacrifice for anyone unless you are sacrificing for yourself. Your maker already has a graph of your life, don’t try to change it. I am saying this because it is too painful trying to overcome something that cannot be overcome. Have you found yourself in a situation where you say I don’t want to do this but find yourself doing it over and over? That is what am going through. I have learned to treat failure with laughter. I treat mistakes with laughter. Let the possible outcome manifest. How long will I try making no mistakes? The one who planned for my life is responsible for everything. If I succeed then his plan worked and if I lose his plan failed and we both failed unless his plan was for me to fail. Now if his plan was for me to fail why do I keep on trying to succeed? I should make it easy by failing. Imagine all of this, if his plan was for me to succeed why do I keep on failing? Do I need to go through the pain of failures for me to succeed? I thought since I had a hard time going to school and even securing employment, my children would not have to go through this too. I thought the experiences of my children would be a little easier than mine. This is an example of what I think my maker would be doing also, making the life of his children easier than his. May be am wrong, I am only a human I don’t know what I am saying always.

I don’t agree with what the world tells me or agree with just what the majority agrees on. A corrupt government trying to uphold law and order. They call it integrity. This happens while soldiers of that government are dying every day in the name of heroism. These soldiers are persecuted at the first point they break a law. A soldier is judged for one thing he did wrong against the hundred things he sacrificed doing right for his country. Tell me where there is justice in that. That is why if you want to have a free life you need to flip the world upside down. You need to see things or judge things more than they appear. Don’t just agree with the truth or anything like the law you found existing in this world. Who said you cannot find your own knowledge? Who said whatever you perceive is right or wrong? Don’t pity yourself when you fail in life. Just try to find other ways to make your life comfortable. Look for other ways or paths that make your life easier. We are lied to that we have power. Where is this power that we have? People are dying every day of diseases, accidents, natural calamities, and hunger, name them all. What happened to the power they have? Didn’t they have to live and die in old age?

Every day someone is trying to advise you on a good marriage. I mean when did your marriage become the same as his marriage? These are just marriage principles being highlighted to you. They don’t guarantee a successful marriage. You can remember what I said earlier about the potential one has. Whether someone highlighted for you these principles of marriage or not, if your marriage is going to work it will work and if it is not going to work, it won’t. The sooner you agree with the bitter truth the sooner your life becomes easy. Failure is on the other hand of success. When people call failure, call it success so that the success becomes your failure. Simple and clear. Is it not a must for you to be successful? In the first place maybe, you were not supposed to exist. Billions of people have come and gone. Both successful and unsuccessful. So, what do you fear, being on side A or side B? Just know that side A can be B and side B can be A who knows. Maybe some of us were planned to end on side A and some on side B.

How long will I be struggling to be on the good side? I mean Why at first does it exist a good side and a bad side? If a good side existed on its own this situation wouldn’t be bothering me. This applies the same to the bad side. If the bad side existed on its own then this situation wouldn’t be bothering me. The bad side would have been the good side all along. This is just us humans being fooled in our wisdom. We think we know how to differentiate between good and bad. False pastors, prophets and, oh, I heard there are even prophetess who own bigger churches. Harvesting money from ignorant people and leading them to hell while true pastors are struggling to run their small churches. If your gospel is of the world publicize it as of the world and don’t hide in the gospel that comes from above. And if your gospel comes from above don’t struggle to compete with those preaching the gospel of the world.

Just live in this world as a fool and know anything is possible. Just know that it is possible there exists another earth just like ours. Maybe more advanced. Who knows. Have you ever thought that maybe when you die you become a young kid again in another world? Have you ever thought that your earlier self was an African or Asian, and now you are white and vice versa? I guess such ideas do not ring in our minds. Racism is the best option here because we think we know what is right for others, because we know all the knowledge of this world.? Some centuries back, people walked naked. A brother would play with his sister naked until they were twelve to fifteen. They would be then given skin clothes covering their fronts. In older age they would be given skin clothes covering both front and back. The girl would get married and the boy marry. Nothing seemed a problem, no human rights, no religious condemnation, no moral degradation. Guess what, nowadays all of this is wrong. A woman should cover her private parts the same as men. It is wrong and a sin to see someone naked. What happened along the way. Men enslaving themselves in what they call laws every day. Nowadays marry a seventeen-year-old girl and impregnate her. Your life is finished; you are facing life imprisonment. What would your great great-great-grandmother who got married at thirteen years old tell you, if she found you prosecuting another person’s child and passing such judgment? That is why the bible says clearly don’t judge as you will also be judged.? An advocate and a judge are eager to render a sentence to a rape case when they, in turn, are adulteress. Sleeping with other people’s wives and husbands. They spent most of their time with prostitutes and cowboys. Where is the justice in all of this? That is why I tell you to look the world upside down and you will realize that good is bad and bad is good. The right thing you think it is, sorry it is wrong, the wrong thing you think it is, sorry it is right.

Make the best times of your life count man. Things that are beyond our control leave them to be. If today you are imprisoned falsely don’t weep. That’s life, find a way to fit in and spend the best times of your life in prison. Some think they cannot be imprisoned. What did I say about anything that is possible in this world? Be a fool and live your life. You can be blind at any time, you may lose your legs at any time. You may become poor at any time, anything is possible in this world. Prepare for anything. I am trying to live a stress-free life. If my wife leaves me today so be it, if my husband leaves me today so be it, if being found today to be barren so be it, what else can I do? Life is a mystery. If we are not given a compass to bisect through it what else do we do? We meander until we are outside of life or lose the life itself while still in it. I’m lost in an ocean. I am not alone we are many. The problem is that everyone has his own exit point. That exit point none of us knows where it is. So, we swim from east to west and from north to south trying to find our exit point. Let no one cheat you that he knows your exit point. Find your own exit point. Don’t waste time going together. Everyone has his exit point. You chat a little while relaxing, and exchange some motivations and inspirations but as soon that is finished everyone should be on his way.

Just know that I am a fool and not responsible for any decisions that you may make after reading this. Who knows maybe I’m writing this while in the mental hospital. This is what runs every day in my mind. I am trying to share this with you. Find the equilibrium of life and you shall know all the secrets you want to know. Just know what’s in the middle between good and bad. Tella bakata nasa eko yaba nasala naza ako akabata atalaka nasa laba naboyeka nasele.

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