The final word on finding your voice

The result of a passing conversation with my father-in-law, Wally, recently reminded me of the influence we can have on others, often without realising it.

In an earlier conversation, Wally had spoken about his desire to continue learning, both to keep his brain active at the age of 82 and to indulge his passion for English poets and their work. However, he was frustrated that he couldn’t find the material he wanted through his internet search engine. I casually suggested he could try finding an app on English poets, specifically one on William Wordsworth, and thought nothing more of it. During a family gathering at Easter, Wally thanked me for mentioning the app, saying he had found a good one and was now reading and learning more. It turns out my passing comment had helped to reignite his passion for learning.

This got me thinking about whether we really know who is listening to us and the effect we have on these people. This feeds into the discussion I promised in my previous blog on the final two steps in the seven-stage approach to finding our platform and voice.

The first five steps looked at audience, language, strategy, content and delivery. Steps six and seven revolve around understanding our level of influence and seeking the help of others in improving our performance.

6. Assess your impact

What I thought was an inconsequential comment to Wally had a lasting impact, even though I didn’t plan it that way. It tells me he valued my opinion enough to take my suggestion seriously and act on it.

Your impact on others may not always be visible to you. You might be surprised at how the things you say and do affect people both inside and outside what you would consider your circles of influence.

Look for evidence of how your words and messages influence others. You might need to enlist people close to you who can be open about how they respond to you and how they see others responding to you.

Who seems to be following your advice, using your words and phrases or responding to your calls for action? On the other hand, who doesn’t seem to be listening to what you say? Can you identify reasons why some do and others don’t? This will help you fine-tune your approach.

7.    Form a feedback loop

Of the seven steps, this one probably requires the most gumption. But if you’re serious about being heard, you need to listen to yourself as well as to others.

Forget trolls and people with other agendas – this is about seeking input from people you trust and important stakeholders, who can tell you how your voice sounds from the platform you have chosen.

Start by reminding yourself why it is so important for you to have this voice and be heard from this platform. Be determined not to settle for second best – after all, what’s the worst that can happen if you shoot for the top?

If you feel like something is holding you back, search for what it might be. Be honest with yourself and ask close connections to be honest with you too. You need to identify the gremlins that are sabotaging your progress before you can work on releasing their grip. Chances are those gremlins are your own and are working to make you ‘your own dream stealer’. This is a good thing to discover because it is more likely to be something you can control.

Finally, listen to your heart, brain and gut. All three can work together as a powerful unit if you trust them enough.

Above all, be brave and make that voice the loudest and strongest it can be.

The LBD Group - a place of safety to really be your authentic and vulnerable self. the place in which women support women to be the very best version of themselves. A sandbox to try new ventures, think differently and continuous learning so that we are prepared for the future and become the leaders required for our now digital revolution ... Find your Tribe...