The Final Exam of Parenthood

Shepherding your kid through high school and into a good college brings up a whole lot of fear and anxiety. It can feel like the final exam of parenthood.?

And just like anxiety can hinder your performance on an exam…

It can get in the way of your child’s development and college prospects too.?

To help you avoid that, let’s talk about 3 well-meaning parental archetypes you don’t want to be and why:

#1. The Backseat Driver?

This is the parent that makes all their kid’s decisions for them. They don’t trust their kid’s instincts enough to ask them where they want to go or what they want to do. Instead they give directions based on what they think will look good to the colleges they’ve already chosen.

Many kids who want to please their parents will follow along without complaint, but they won’t have the chance to develop the authentic self-knowledge and self-leadership skills colleges want. They may even wake up one day and find themselves at the wrong school — or in the wrong career.?

#2. The Frantic Overscheduler?

Occasionally I work with kids who are so chronically overscheduled with internships, lessons, volunteer work, and activities, they have not a single moment to reflect on who they are, what they’re doing, or what they might want to write about in their college essays.?

When I raise concerns, the parents say, “They’ll get through it. They can handle it.” Eventually they admit they’re afraid that dropping any one activity will hurt their kid’s candidacy, to which I remind them: “If they don’t have an essay or a sense-of-self, none of that stuff matters.” And the worst part is — these kids are on the path to burnout.?

#3. The Mountaineer

This is the parent who is so single-minded about getting their kid to the top of a mountain, they never consider whether it's the right summit for their kid.?

Usually, the Mountaineer’s unspoken fear is that their child isn’t more like them. So instead of developing their kid’s true interests, they force them to become impressive in a way that reflects the parent’s strengths and values.?

Sadly, kids with Mountaineer parents often come to believe they’re nothing special as they are. Being pushed to be someone they’re not can really hurt their confidence, even if they do make it to the top.

***

You can see why you don’t want to be one of these archetypes.?

However, you do have an important role to play.?

You want to be:

• The parent who's equipped with the most relevant, up-to-date information on what colleges value. (If you feel like you’re not there yet, get my course.)
• The parent who provides opportunities, encourages excellence and makes space for becoming a well-rounded young adult.
• And the parent who has their eye on the big picture while their kid is wrapped up in the day-to-day of being a student.

Stay focused on these, and you and your kid will be in a good place come senior spring.

All my best,

Sheila

P.S. We’re here to assuage any concerns you may have about your kid’s college prospects.?

Book a free call and let’s see if your college strategy could use some tweaks. No strings attached.?