Figuring it out is cool, too.

“Home is where the heart is, No matter how your heart lives.”

As I sit on my evening plane-ride from LA back home to New York, I can’t help but repeat this childhood song as a mantra. One that perfectly resonates with my current reality...

Navigating post-grad life AND figuring out what you want for yourself is really hard ??

Largely because post-grad is the first time in our lives you must suddenly make decisions in the context of very little structure - it’s quite like transitioning from conducting a train on tracks that are hundreds of years old ?? to conducting a train with ‘build as you go’ tracks ??

College = Ikea Furniture

For example, in college everything was like Ikea furniture - easy (enough) to assemble, and came with a roadmap. If you were in Greek life, you had sisters/brothers. If in a club, you had fellow members. And everyone always seemed to have their friend groups.

Of course, every so often, you’d find one person without a friend group - the wanderer-type with several close friends in different places - that was me. Between you and me, it took a very long time to be comfortable accepting that part of myself.?

Post-grad life = ‘build as you go’ tracks ??

When I graduated and started a new job in September of 2020, I vividly remember sitting in my lonely NYC apartment, thinking about how glamorous post-grad life had always seemed. You got to choose where you lived, worked, who your friends were. I so looked forward to the coworker happy hours, laughs with roommates, and company off-sites I would experience.?

However, in a pandemic world, I couldn’t really see coworkers because of covid. On top of that, I’d never actually worked in an office before, which left me wondering, ‘WHO is my tribe?! How do I find them? Is it my high school friends? Previous internship colleagues?’?

Frustrated and confused, I did what most people were doing:

I went on Clubhouse ->>

A conversation about vulnerability caught my eye, and I thought, ‘F- it. Let’s get vulnerable.’

After waiting my turn, I introduced myself and explained where I was at in life, shedding light on the anxieties I was facing, “I don’t know who my tribe is, which is super scary and confusing.”

I received an outpouring of love and support, from females I barely knew. After my vulnerable share, I walked away with new friends and a renewed perspective that:

I don’t need to have it all figured out TODAY.

My tribe will reveal itself in due time, when I open myself up to finding it. And the tribes I’ve built will also be there - only becoming more valuable, symbolic and meaningful.

And when I finally let go of post-grad expectations? Well, that's when I began meeting more really interesting, inspiring people to make more memories with.

New season, new question.

Fast forward, it’s April 2022, and much like the 'tribe' question, the one I’m grappling with now is, “Where do I wanna live?”???♀?

In the past 9 months since starting my new job, I’ve traveled quite a bit. From Saint Tropez, to Portugal to Miami - my job has blessed me with the opportunity to work remotely from wherever I desire, AND I get to go see my team in Paris every few months.

In February 2022, I returned back from a trip to Paris, Barcelona, and London, and unexpectedly faced some health challenges. I had pushed my body too hard with all the plane rides and travel.

That’s why, for a month, I stayed home in New York - resisting the urge to take an impromptu trip to New Orleans or Vegas ??

At the end of March, after spending a full month in one place, I noticed myself yearning for more of the consistency I had attained that one month.?

So the next question became, ‘Where do I want to find that consistency? Europe? New York? Miami? Los Angeles?’

In the effort of NOT jumping to conclusions and making my head spin, I applied the same mindset to this question as I did the one before, thinking: ‘The right place will reveal itself, too.’

In order to be open though, I needed to rid myself of any assumptions I had made about what post-grad life in LA would be like, and simply try to experience it.

Which is why, when I booked my recent 14 day trip to Los Angeles, I set one intention: That - besides work, of course - I wanted to have as much fun as possible.

14 days later, I’ve done over 18 activities with different people - many of them meals ???? I’ve also spent quality time with new friends and old, who love, celebrate and support me; who cherish the time we share; who see and appreciate me for who I am - and I, them.

I’m leaving Los Angeles with a full cup. Walking away with a few thoughts:

1. Home is where the heart is: It’s okay to not know where you want to be, as long as you find people who love you wherever you are.?
2. Your 20s are for figuring it out: We get so stuck on knowing the right answer, that it can be quite uncomfortable for us to simply “be.” It’s a beautiful thing to be in a state of “figuring it out,” even more so when you can share that vulnerable space with others pondering similar questions.
3. Mental reframes are helpful: I went for a walk last weekend with my new #friendtor, Espree Devora. Upon sharing my hesitation to pick a place to settle as a “challenge” in my life, she asked, “Instead of labeling yourself as ‘noncommittal,’ or thinking of this as a ‘challenge,’?could you think of it as being in a space of figuring it out?”?She was right. And here I am writing this article.

As I continue to explore what the future of work means, I find it beneficial to notice my own journey. And what is noticing? Listening to understand: feeling the moment, enabling life to unfold the way it’s meant to, ridding ourselves of expectations.

I’m convinced that only one thing can unlock the “right way to do hybrid" - or any other uncertain equation we're trying to solve these days: Our openness to explore and understand ourselves, first. In other words, curiosity is the first step to figuring it out, regardless of the "challenge" or question we're trying to answer.

_______

Some recent life updates:

• I've been participating in #PodcastBet with Espree, to learn how to podcast ?? experimenting with different forms of creative expression
• Last Friday, I led the #Moshpit with @David Gray, I brought 4 of my Gen Z friends to answer questions and talk about what we want from work/employers with CRE / Workplace leaders. It was rad.
• In Miami for the weekend, and will be attending Brex's yacht party tomorrow ?? how I end up doing these things, I dont know.
• Next Tuesday, I'll be at PerksCon in NYC! Catch me and Denise Brouder at a shared booth - because we're #friendtors.
• Flying to Paris May 1-13 for some team time and strategy sessions! In case you didn't know, Café pivoted. Watch a 1 min explainer here. You may recognize the voice ??

Alright, signing off and gonna enjoy being 23 in sunny Miami. Love you ALL!

#DanielleSpeaks