Why are you fighting over the family lamp?

Where am I with my divorce? I want it to be over already!

That is a fair statement my friend. Your lawyer definitely needs to finalize your divorce papers and get you divorced. Is it that simple though? Are you forgetting something?

At the end of the day you have your own process to go through. Help yourself:

Where are you in the grieving process of the divorce? Are you stuck on your sofa or are you walking about and enjoying your life? There's no right or wrong answer. I prefer that you get off your couch, at least over time. You know your going to feel happy angry and sad all at the same time. So what are you doing for you at this moment? Are you going out to the gym - getting that anger out? Are you talking to friends and family? Are you moving forward or back? Is your emotions clouding your ability to work through the problems your lawyer needs to help you solve?

Fighting over a lamp? Shame on you! Figure out what you really are fighting over. If you feel like you don't want your marriage to end see a counselor, go through your emotions of the moment. Do you have clarity in whats' going on right now?

Help your attorney:

Have perspective where you are in this moment. When you are talking to your attorney help them achieve your goals. A few things you may not have thought about:

You told your lawyer you want to co-parent but you find yourself fighting over every loose end. Recognize not only where you are but who you are.

1. Take the TKI: What is your natural conflict style? If you are a natural collaborator why are you so hostile? Are you reacting to the divorce process itself? Perhaps less court time and more time being involved in informal settlement discussions.
2. Enneagram Personality Test: Perfectionists are going to have a hard time during a divorce. Everything is not going to go exactly a certain way. Perfectionists have to stop and breathe and work with the situation at hand. Perfectionist of course is one result that shows when one takes the enneagram.
3. Empathy: Don't just learn how to spell it, have empathy when it comes to your ex's position. Empathy is going to go a long way in coming up with a solution that works not only for you, but your ex as well.

Good luck out there!