Fighting the Feeling of Being a Fraud

I’ve been thinking about how to combat feeling like a fraud.

It comes from a several places.? One, I’m always a little surprised that people read this newsletter and take the time to comment on it.?

Two, I’m in the midst of working some business opportunities I never would have believed I’d have several years ago.

The work I’ve put in is working.? It’s resulting in sales.? And for some reason, people are listening.?

But inside, I don’t feel any different.? I feel like the same dude.? There’s a lyric from a Lupe Fiasco song “Beautiful Lasers” that rings in my head.

“All you see are all my feats / All I see is all my flaws.”

I think we all get this feeling when there is a disconnect between the expectations others have of us on the outside and how we feel about ourselves on the inside.

So I started reading Relentless by Tim Grover.? He’s the trainer that worked with Michael Jordan through his peak years.? He worked with Kobe Bryand and Dwyane Wade.? The book is all about their mindset.? He calls it being a Cleaner.

A Cleaner feels no pressure.? A Cleaner thrives on the pressure.? A Cleaner says “I own this.”? A Cleaner doesn’t compete with anyone because they believe everyone is trying to catch up with them.

There is no mental dissonance for a Cleaner.

But how to get there?? How do you find what Tim Grover calls the Zone?

Here are the thoughts that have helped me clear my head.

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1.???? Go Back to the Basics

There are fundamentals to everyone’s job.? The very basic tasks that serve as the groundwork for everything we do.

In Basketball, they focus on footwork, spacing, and moving without the ball.? As an insurance producer, I focus on outbound prospecting, understanding the businesses I talk to, and staying on schedule.

It doesn’t matter what is going on around me.? It doesn’t matter about the size of the opportunity.? It doesn’t matter about the timelines.? The fundamentals stay the same.

This thought helps me recalibrate.? If it feels like the world is moving too quickly, go back and focus on the basics.? I feel a mastery over these topics.? It doesn’t mean I don’t look to improve, but I feel very comfortable within these fundamentals.? The noise around me is irrelevant if I’m focused on doing the tasks I’ve mastered.

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2.???? Remember the work you’ve done to get here

Success doesn’t come from a vacuum.? People that experience success developed the skillsets that made them successful long before they were recognized for that work.

Jay-Z and Kanye West thought about their grammy acceptance speeches while they walked to the subway.? It was years before they delivered those speeches.? The real work wasn’t done on stage when they had the grammy in their hands.? It was done when they wrote lyrics on paper bags using light poles as a hard surface to write on.

For you and I, the opportunities we find don’t come usually come from nowhere.? They come out of work we’ve done in the past.? Skillsets we’ve honed.

You’re not a fraud, and I’m not a fraud if we’ve accomplished something.? The real work was already done in solitude.? The work was the lyric written on the side of a paper bag.? It was all the applications done late at night.

The opportunity is just the follow through.

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3.???? Write Down a Plan.? Execute the Plan.

Feeling like a fraud can come from a sense of feeling out of control.? It is the feeling of looking at a project and not knowing the next step, the step after that.? It feels like losing sight of the finish line.? Then it can feel like everyone is looking to you for the gameplan, but you don’t know what you’re supposed to do.

Cleaners control the uncontrollable.

You can do this by writing down a plan.? Then executing a plan.

Large projects have a lot of moving parts.? There are numerous if/then statements.? There are 5 different things that need to happen simultaneously for the end product to come together.

It can be a little overwhelming.

Write down a plan.

If it’s a large sales opportunity, start at the end of the sale, then work backwards.? Identify the decision-making process, the timelines, the underwriters you need to talk to, the applications that need to be completed, and the information you’ll need to complete them.

If you’re running an organization, start with the 5-year goals.? Back into the 1-year goals, then the 12 week goals, then the daily tasks that need to be accomplished in order to meet them.

Control the uncontrollable by making everything smaller.? Make it simple.

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4.???? Execute the plan with urgency.? Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today.

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Large projects can snowball.

It all starts with procrastinating on one piece of paperwork.? “I’ll get that application done Friday afternoon.”? Then on Friday afternoon, my kid gets sick and I’m home with them.? Since I can’t use my dual monitor setup, I put the paperwork off until Monday.

Then on Monday I have an emergency staff meeting.? I’m distracted.? I put it off until Wednesday.

By Wednesday, I’ve forgotten everything that should be in that application.? Now my underwriter is behind because I didn’t get the application to them on time.?

The whole situation snowballs.

Execute your plan with ruthless urgency.? If it requires doing applications at 9pm.? Do applications at 9pm.

If it means I don’t get to watch my TV shows for 3 weeks.? So be it.

Attack the job.

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5.???? Everyone gets the feeling.? Even the most successful people.

Everyone, even Michael Jordan got nervous before big games.? He told Tim Grover that he had butterflies.

“Get them all pointing in the same direction,” says Tim.

Normalizing the feelings of insecurity helps me recalibrate.? It’s normal to have nervous energy.? It’s a good thing.? Nervous energy can be funneled.? It can be used as fuel.

If there were no nervous energy, what would keep you going?

There has to be some type of fuel for the engine to achieve the goal.?

Nervous energy is as good a fuel as anything.

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6.???? Don’t go it alone.?

Bring teammates.? Talk to Mentors.

Teammates will make the work lighter.? Large projects of any kind require massive amounts of data entry and organization.? It can be a lot for any single person.

Recruit help.? Pay for that help.? Leverage your time.?

The most successful people aren’t hired because they’re really good at keying in data.? They’re hired because they know what to do with that data when it’s in an application.? They know how to manage negotiations and see a project through to completion.

Bring in people that want to learn what you do.? Use the project as an opportunity to show them something.

Similarly, find people that that have done it before and ask them to mentor you.

Ray Dalio says that you should listen to a person’s advice if they’ve done it 3 times successfully.

Find people that have accomplished what you’re trying to do 3 times successfully.? Then do whatever needs to be done to get them to share their wisdom with you.

Most successful people have had a mentor.? They had someone that extended kindness to them.? And at some point, they know it’s their responsibility to give that wisdom back to the next generation.? Otherwise, that wisdom will die with them.

Abundance minded people will be happy to share what they know.? Don’t be so foolish or stubborn as to think you need to figure it all out yourself.

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Conclusion:

I think it’s an oversimplification to tell myself to “Be Like Mike.”? There has to be a mental frame work to approach that mindset.? A process.

These 6 things have helped me recalibrate.? If you’re in a similar situation where you feel intimidated by the success you’re experiencing or a larger-than-life opportunity, I hope these ideas can help you clear your mind like they’ve cleared mine.